Persimmons

I sat with God under the persimmon tree.

God said, “What’s bothering you this time?”

I said, “It seems to me that the more I learn, the less I know. But, still, I can’t help but want to know more. I desire to overcome this desperate cycle so I can finally find my piece of mind.”

God pulled a persimmon off the tree and gave it to me to eat. I took a bite.

I said that it was delicious, and asked, “Is this a sign that I should just enjoy the obvious sweet fruits of life?”

God said, “I gave it to you to eat so that you’d stop talking.”

Lincolning

I took my time-travel machine back to 1865 and the White House. I looked through rooms until I came upon, my friend, President Lincoln sitting at a table, looking distant and forlorn.

I asked if anything were the matter.

President Lincoln responded, “Oh, hello, Mr. Brooks. I was pondering the weight of life, amazed that our corporeal forms can bear the force.”

I went over to my friend and tousled his hair.

He laughed and said, “Your term of endearment lifts my burden.”

All I could think was, “Oh, my God, I touched Lincoln’s hair!”

Oh, hi. It’s good to see you. I was just thinking about great it is that you invented those boats that a person can ride on lava.

Shiva

It was one in the afternoon and still dark out. I figured something strange was going on, and I took a closer look up and realized, Shiva, Lord of the Universe, was sitting and meditating on my part of the Earth, blocking out the Sun.

I got upset and threw a rock at his leg.

He opened his eyes and said, “What the hell!?!”

I said, “I know! What’s the big deal?!”

Shiva said, “Do you know who I am?!”

I said something about his being part of the Blue Man Group.

The Seed

I planted a seed in the ground and waited. Nothing was happening.

I got impatient and looked up to the Sun and said, “I could really use your help.”

The Sun sent some strong rays onto the dirt.

I heard faint sounds under the ground, like someone was waking up. Suddenly a sprout came out of the ground and yawn stretched into a sapling.

I said, “Hi” to the new one.

The new one said, “Who are you?”