Brooks’ Recent Posts

 

  • Lunch?

    I was out for a walk when I came upon a lion.

    The lion said, “You ought to know I’m considering eating you.”

    I said, ” I get it. I’m delicious.”

    The lion said, “I thought so.”

    I said, “But I’m not good raw. I’m ideal after baking at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Also make sure to coat me with avacado oil and sprinkle some thyme.”

    The lion said, “Oh.”

    I said, “What?”

    The lion said, “I don’t have an oven, or any of those ingredients.”

    I said, “That’s too bad. If you’d like you can come on over to my place and use my oven and ingredients.”

    The lion sighed and said, “Really, are you sure it’s not a problem?”

    I said, “Not at all. Let’s go.”

    The lion and I walked to my house. I set the oven to pre-heat and got out a really big baking pan and began to douse myself with avocado oil.

    The lion said, “My stomach’s grumbling. Do you have any snacks?”

    I got out saltine crackers and put them on a plate and gave it the lion. The lion ate the crackers as I sprinkled thyme on my head.

    The lion said, “You don’t have to do that anymore. The crackers did the trick.”

    I said, “If you say so. Would you like to watch a movie?”

    The lion said, “That would be nice.”

    I said, “Have you seen Midnight Run?”

    👍🏼 The lion said, “No, but I heard it’s good.”

  • Giving it a try

    It was night and my friend Lightening and I were sitting on the sand by the shore. The area where we sat was lit up like it was daytime from my friends glow. I said I envied my friend. He asked why. I said because I wish I were as bright. Lightening touched my nose. I felt heat swiftly pass through my body. Suddenly I was all aglow.

    A Dark cloud formed above us. I lifted up in an instant through the air and into the cloud. I hung in the mist, my body trembling. I shot downward with the sound of an explosion.

    I struck the rooftop of a life guard station, splitting it in two and setting it on fire. I walked away, my body no longer glowing. I sat next to Lightening. He asked if I liked it. I said I felt dizzy and had a headache.

  • I woke up in a cave

    I woke up in a cave. I forgot how I got there. I stood up and went outside. I looked around. I was in the middle of the woods. I didn’t know which direction to head and started walking.

    After a few minutes it started to rain. I wasn’t wearing a raincoat and didn’t have an umbrella. I was soon soaked and I shivered. I looked for a tree that would block the rain. They all had some rain dripping through the branches and leaves.

    One of the trees had a hollow at its base. I ran in and sat down next to a porcupine and mongoose. The warmth from their bodies was strong and soon I stopped shaking.

    It rained for a while. None of us said anything.

    The rain water began to collect around our feet. I began to shiver again and went back out.

    I walked for a few miles while I hugged myself for warmth but it wasn’t helping.

    I came to a house and knocked. A bear answered. I tried to talk through my shivering, but the bear couldn’t understand me. The bear invited me in and sat me down by the fire. I warmed up and stopped shivering.

    I shared with the bear about how my day had started in the cave. The bear asked where the cave was located. I told him generally where it was. The bear said it might have been the cave where he had once lived. The bear said he moved out 13 years ago. He’d been living in the house ever since.

  • The Stranger

    I couldn’t come up with a blog post. I got up from my desk and went on a walk.

    After a while I came upon someone sitting under a tree. He seemed to be in a reflective mood. I said, “Hi.” He looked at me but didn’t say anything back. I was embarrassed and said, “Oh, sorry. I was talking to the tree.”

    I kept walking. Soon after I saw the same reflective person sitting under a different tree. I stopped and said, “How did you get from the other tree to this one? I didn’t see you get up.” I felt awkward again as he looked at me with the same silent eyes. I couldn’t use the same lame excuse that I was talking with the tree.

    I continued walking. I walked for a while. I passed other trees, but the person wasn’t under any of them. I thought about him. Who was he? Why didn’t he say anything?

    I couldn’t stand it, and walked back to the tree under which I’d last seen him. But he wasn’t there. I walked back to the previous tree. He wasn’t there either.

    I was exhausted and sat under the tree. I mulled over what had happened. I looked up when someone said, “Hi.”

  • The trip into town

    I rode my hippo into town. It took a while because the hippo dawdles. I understand. The hippo has no business in town. I did. The hippo was happy hanging out in the barn, eating hay, and watching TV. The hippo’s favorite show is, “What’s My Line.” It’s a TV show from the 1950s. People come on the show, and the panel asks them questions to find out what that person does for work.

    I parked the hippo outside Rexall’s Drug Store and went in. I couldn’t find the ointment I’d wanted. I asked one of the employees to help me. She said she’d never heard of it. I asked if they had another one which did the same thing. She looked around. She said, “What about this one?” and handed it to me. I looked at it. It was in a red box. I like red. I thanked her.

    I paid and went outside. My hippo wasn’t there. I called out its name. I called out again. I walked home. I went in and had a drink of water. I went to the bathroom and applied the ointment. I looked at my face in the mirror. My image looked back at me. I apologized. My image asked me why. I said I didn’t know.

  • Me and the Bee

    I climbed to the top of the tree. I swayed back and forth in the wind. Down below Billy the bear called up to me, “Hey, Brooks. Come down. I found a bee hive full of honey.” I dove off the tree. Billy the bear caught me. His thick fur felt like I’d jumped into a pillow.

    Billy the bear set me down and we ran until we got to the bee hive. Bees were buzzing around like a dust storm. I said I was afraid of getting stung. He said, “The greater the pain, the greater the joy.” I moved my hand towards the hive and got stung. It hurt a great deal and I went and sat on a rock. Billy by now had a paw fully deep in the hive. He pulled out a golden glob and gobbled it down.

    With honey matted around the fur of his mouth, he shouted, “Come on, Brooks! It’s delicious.” I waved and shook my head, “No.” A bee flew over and landed on me knee. The bee said, “I’m sorry I stung you.” I said I would be okay. The bee held out one of it’s tiny hands. In its palm was a drop of honey. The bee said, “It’s for you.” I lowered my head and stuck out my tongue. With the tip I tasted I tasted the honey. It was wonderful.

  • 3 for the price of 1

    I like to say the word, “The.” Sometimes I’ll make up sentences when I’m by myself of just, “The.” “The the the the the the the. The the the the, the the the. (The.)” I have an ambition to write a book, only using, “The.” I haven’t done it because I think it would be hard to find a publisher. The thing is, I’d love that book and would read it often. It may happen.

    …..

    Last night I woke up with a desire to go outside. I got out of bed and put on my bathrobe. I went outside. It was dark. The sky was cloudy and I couldn’t see the moon or stars. I got sleepy. I lay down on the grass. I turned on my side. I fell asleep.

    When I woke up I was nestled between a sleeping cow and horse who were also laying on the grass. The air was cold, but their bodies warm. When they breathed in, their bodies expanded against mine.

    …..

    I went to the Ocean. I stood on the outskirts, looking out at the vast expanse of water. The Ocean said, “Are you coming in or not?” I said I didn’t bring a bathing suit. The Ocean said, “Strip down and come on in. I don’t mind.” I looked around. There were some people way down the beach. I figured I could get naked and they wouldn’t see me. I took off my clothes and walked in to the Ocean.

    The Ocean said, “I’m so glad you’ve joined me.” I said I was too. I walked until my toes couldn’t touch the bottom. I tread water. The Ocean said, “Lay on your back. I’ll float you.” I lay on my back and it was like I was laying on an air mattress on the water. I didn’t have to do anything to stay afloat.

    The Ocean said, “Would you hum me a song?” I said I would. I made up a song. I like humming because I don’t have to come up with words. The Ocean said, “I like your song.” I said thanks.

    I looked back towards the beach, but I couldn’t see it anymore. I’d drifted a ways away. I panicked and stopped floating. I went back to treading water and I got a cramp. I had difficulty staying above the water. The Ocean said, “Lay on your back again, and I’ll float you.” I said I was scared because I was far from the shore. The Ocean said, “If you lay back, I’ll carrying you back to the shore.” I had to trust the Ocean because otherwise I probably would have drowned.

    I lay on my back again and the Ocean supported me. I caught my breath and relaxed. I was moving towards what I hoped was the shore. The Ocean said, “Would you sing me a song with words this time?” I said I would try.

    I sang a song about a duck named Seymour. Seymour was scared of water. He stayed on the ground rather then venture into the lake. One day it rained so much that the ground flooded. Seymour had no choice but to be in water. He was scared. But then the fear passed.

  • Odds and Ends

    The glass of water said, “Hey, Brooks?”

    I said, “Yes, glass of water?”

    The glass of water said, “Are you gonna drink me or what?”

    I said, “I like having you around. You’re my personal lake.”

    …..

    I was out for a walk when I suddenly began to lift in the air. I went higher and higher. Eventually I hit my head on the top of the atmosphere. It didn’t hurt like if you hit your head on the ceiling of a room. I softly bounced off and hung in the air. I shifted my feet above me and began to walk upside down on the top of the atmosphere. I walked for a awhile.

    A seagull began to fly along with me. The sea gull said, “Where are you going?” I said, “I’m just out for a walk. Where are you headed?” The seagull said, “I’m just following you.”

    …..

    The ghost of John Steinbeck came by. He said, “What are you up to?”

    I said I was polishing the silver.

    He said, “Are you enjoying yourself?”

    I said I wasn’t. The polish smelled. And my hands were getting tired.

    The ghost of Steinbeck said, “Why do you do it then?”

    I said I’m calmed by shiny things.

  • What I had to do to be heard

    I looked over the edge of the cliff.

    The ground below yelled up, “Are you gonna jump?!”

    I shook my head no. The ground below said, “What? I can’t hear you!”

    I shook it again. The ground below said, “I still can’t hear you!”

    I said, “No!”

    The ground below said, “What?!”

    I climbed down the edge of the cliff. It took me four and a half hours.

    When I reached the ground below, I said, “I said, no.”

    The ground said, “Oh. Okay.”

  • Regarding the bird

    The bird landed on my head. I said hi to the bird, who ignored me. I got irritated and tried to swat the bird off, but it managed to hold onto my head. The bird flapped its wings. I was lifted off the ground. The bird flew high in the sky. I looked down, amazed at the view of the countryside below.

    But then the bird released my head and I began to fall. The ground got closer and closer. I landed in a haystack. It hurt. I had to lay there for a while before I could think of getting up.

    I got up slowly. The bird landed and latched onto my head again. I managed to run backwards. I knew birds can’t fly if they are moving backwards. The bird asked me to stop. I ended up running into a tree. The bird fell off my head. We both lay on the ground in a daze.

    I asked the bird if it was okay. The bird said its neck hurt. I apologized. The bird said it was sorry for dropping me from the sky.

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