The Sun had enough

The Sun had enough and left the solar system. It got so dark that none of the planets could see where they were going and they ran into each other. There was a lot of grumbling and antics.

When it all settled down, the planets decided they needed a system of lights. They’d learned the hard way that if one light goes out and that’s all they got, they’re screwed. So they sent out their intent through the interplanetary mailing system, and waited.

Not long after, a number of stars from various galaxies showed up for the interview. They had resumes and letters of recommendations, and each expounded on why they would be superior space light bulbs.

142 stars were interviewed, but the planets only had enough money to hire 7. It was hard, but the planets narrowed it down, and announced their decision. The ones that didn’t make the cut were either angry or depressed. They left crying and swearing.

The 7 stars were excited to start their job, when the previous Sun returned. The Sun said that it just needed a break and was ready to go back work. There was an awkward silence as the planets didn’t know what to say. The Sun looked around, noticed the 7 stars, and got the picture. It said there were no hard feelings and left.

The Sun ducked behind a black hole and watched the solar system from afar, cursing and plotting revenge.

The desk

I sat at my desk. The pen sat on the paper. I breathed out and a hanger fell from my mouth. It landed and lay on the desk.

A duck descended onto the window sill. It looked through the glass at me. It had brown eyes like mine. One of its eyes were bloodshot.

I scratched the back of my head. My head crumbled. The pieces landed on the desk.

What about Bitty?

I walked down the street. Hundreds of dogs were lined up on the sidewalks of both sides of the street. The dogs sat and nodded as I strolled by.

When I got to the end of the street, I stopped and looked back at all the dogs looking at me. After a moment, I said, “Free!” All the dogs leapt up and ran to me.

I said, “And so begins the 200-hundred mile jaunt!” The dogs barked in concordance.

A schnauzer named Blerck said, “Wait, what about Bitty?”

I looked back up the street and saw Bitty the bulldog sitting still, focused on something nearby.

I yelled, “Bitty, your presence is requested.”

Bitty wouldn’t look at me, but yelled back, “I’m staying. There’s one leaf left on the oak tree and I don’t want to miss it fall.”

Rest stop

I woke to a dragon standing at the end of my bed. I saw it because it was breathing fire, lighting up the room. I was calm since I’m never disturbed while laying down, and said nonchalantly, “Oh, hi, are looking for the bathroom?”

The dragon was taken aback, I guessed because I wasn’t screaming and running around the room. The dragon said, “Yes, actually, I am.”

I told the dragon to go out the door and hang an immediate right. The dragon thanked me and left.

I lay there, wondering if I would fall back asleep. Sometimes I can fall into a doze within seconds. Other times I’m taken on a jumbled phantasm of fantasies, memories, and strewn thoughts, before I finally succumb.

Neither happened as I was distracted by rummaging coming from my living room. I got up and found the dragon looking through my collection of books.

The dragon said, “I was looking for something to read while I sat on the pot.”

I recommended Moby Dick. I had been reading it for some months and grown weary with its leviathan over fondness. If it got burnt up by the dragon, I wouldn’t feel the need to go out and buy another copy.

A few things I miss

1. Being two. At that tender age I used to sing and dance on stages all over the country. I was called “Brooksie-Bee.” Folks couldn’t get enough of me. I was on Johnny Carson three times during that year. That was unheard of! But then I turned three and got mange from our dog, Plowder. The bookings stopped. I got depressed and began snorting talcum powder.
2. My friendship with actor, Burt Reynolds. I lived next door to him. We used to hangout. Often we would talk in animal sounds. Once he got so into making the sounds of a bull that he actually became 14 bulls, and stampeded my living room, destroying all the furniture. He then returned back to himself. He asked what happened to my living room. I told him. He didn’t believe me. I told him that’s because he had low-self esteem as an actor. He said I didn’t know what I was talking about, and he stormed out. He came back the next day and apologized and bought me new furniture. We were friends again. But then he died recently.