I took a walk along the dirt road. A truck roared by and I was quickly covered by the ensuing dust cloud.
The apple tree off to the side of the road saw me and said, “Oh, my God, the dirt has come to life, and is meaning to do me harm!”
I’ve always felt that of all the fruits, apples are the most reactive.
I got in my time machine and rode back to 1936, Tuskegee, Alabama, and the lab of scientist George Washington Carver. Mr. Carver wasn’t shocked to see me because I’d visited him before.
I have time buddies in many different eras. Right after George W.’s election victory in 1999, I was feeling way below par and visited President Taft in 1910, and he cooked me pancakes in the White House kitchen that changed my life.
I was down in the basement, canning peaches for the winter when the ghost of President Calvin Coolidge as a young boy appeared.
I asked if he wanted some peaches. The boy ghost of Coolidge said, “Yes, please, sir.”
The boy ghost ate the peaches I gave him and then thanked me. I asked why he came to visit.
The boy ghost of Coolidge said, “I know you’re having a difficult and challenging time with the results of your recent Presidential election. I thought it would be helpful for you to know that every President started out as a child.”
I sighed as the impact of his words reached my heart. I thanked him.
That’s when the boy ghost of Coolidge flipped over the table, and all the mason jars shattered as they hit the floor, mixing in with broken pieces of peaches.
I went for walk with God through the Chimera fruit tree forest.
God said, “Why so glum?”
I said that I’d been feeling miserable since I spent some time online reading the news.
God said, “I invented glumness as a red-flag indicator to stop what you’re doing.”
I asked why then God had invented something that would create glumness in the first place.
God said, “Because you can’t have one without the other.”
I tried to respond, but nothing came out except a long sigh. God said, “Nice breeze.”
“Hi, I’m Lita J. Perelwalter, the cow. You should leave your computer and come outside. Not because I think it’s nicer out here, but I really need to be milked.”