I climbed up the hill and sat on the Big Rock. The Big Rock said, “Why so weary?”
I said I made the mistake of reading the news over the past week.
The Big Rock said, “I don’t read. I’m actually illiterate.”
I asked if the Big Rock was saying I shouldn’t read the news.
The Big Rock said, “No. I was just saying I can’t read.”
I asked if that’s why the Big Rock is so peaceful.
The Big Rock said, “No, I think it’s because I’m a rock.”
I woke up this morning to find my bed surrounded by forest animals. There was a racoon couple, a mother bear and her three cubs, a hawk and an owl, a deer, a pack of coyotes, and a gang of turkeys.
I started sneezing like crazy because of my allergies. I sneezed so hard that my bed collapsed. This made the animals freak out and run around the room.
I took a breath from my inhaler and calmed down. The animals settled down too.
I said that I was glad to see them all, and wondered how they got in.
A turkey said, “You forgot to lock your back door.”
One of the bear cubs said, “Excuse me, Mister Palmer, but would you be kind enough to make us breakfast?”
I said, “Yes!!”
I went to breakfast this morning with the ghost of Walt Disney. The ghost of Walt said, “My boy, you seem down. Sit up and smile! Life is meant to be lived with gusto!”
I asked what then to do then with negative thoughts.
The ghost of Walt said, “It’s simple.”
The ghost of Walt took out a pack of Pall Mall cigarettes from his suit coat pocket. He got out three cigarettes and put them in his mouth. Then he took out a fancy silver lighter from a different pocket and lit the cigarettes. He took in a deep inhale and let out a gale of smoke.
The ghost of Walt said, “I feel like I’m on top of the world!”
I climbed the hill to the big rock. When I got there, the big rock said, “What is it this time?”
I said that I get confused sometimes about what’s the right thing to do.
The big rock said, “Then stop doing that?”
I asked what I should stop doing.
The big rock said, “That!!”
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