🥴 I was feeling off. Kind of bloated in the head, mouth, and throat.
Then I realized I hadn’t thought, said, or written anything for a couple of hours. There was a word backup.
So I opened my mouth and jettisoned words non-stop for twenty-five minutes.
When I was done, there was quite a big pile of words on the floor. I swept them up and shifted them into the empty pages of a notebook.
Then I shook up the book and mailed it to my literary agent.
👋 I was woken up by Wednesday saying, “Brooks! Brooks! Wake up!”
I said, “What is it, Wednesday? Is the house on fire?”
Wednesday said, “No, it’s just that I made you this day, and I’d love to see what you think of it.”
I looked around my room.
I said, “It looks like yesterday.”
Wednesday began to cry and said, “I’m sorry. I really wanted you to like it.”
I said, “But Wednesday, I really liked yesterday!”
💓 Wednesday said, “Yaaaaaaaay!”
🐜 I live in an underground ant colony.
I like it because it feels good to be part of a community.
I’m not an ant. But the ants don’t seem to mind.
🥮 Actually, they’ve told me they like how I can go out into the world, purchase an angel food cake, and place it just outside the ant hill for my fellow co-habitaters to disassemble and bring down into the tunnels.
I’m often asked how I’m able to squeeze into the entrance of the anthill? I don’t, but instead, I dug a human-sized hole right next to my friendly roommates subterranean passageways.
👋 I lay down in the hole and wave back at the ants as they go about their day.
When I wake up in the morning, I go right back to sleep. I don’t think it’s important to jump right into doing things.
I’ll wake up and go back to sleep maybe eighteen or so times. It’s hard to tell the exact number because sleeping has a way of making me forget things.
Anyway, eventually I get out of bed. And then I stand for a while. It’s important to get the blood down to my feet before I ask them to do some walking for me. I’ll stand for about ten or eleven minutes.
And then I’ll walk outside. I want to make sure the sun is actually in the sky. Sometimes I’ve woken up thinking it was daytime, but that’s only because I forgot to turn out the lights when I went to sleep.
I was out for a walk when I came upon a lion.
The lion said, “You ought to know I’m considering eating you.”
I said, ” I get it. I’m delicious.”
The lion said, “I thought so.”
I said, “But I’m not good raw. I’m ideal after baking at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Also make sure to coat me with avacado oil and sprinkle some thyme.”
The lion said, “Oh.”
I said, “What?”
The lion said, “I don’t have an oven, or any of those ingredients.”
I said, “That’s too bad. If you’d like you can come on over to my place and use my oven and ingredients.”
The lion sighed and said, “Really, are you sure it’s not a problem?”
I said, “Not at all. Let’s go.”
The lion and I walked to my house. I set the oven to pre-heat and got out a really big baking pan and began to douse myself with avocado oil.
The lion said, “My stomach’s grumbling. Do you have any snacks?”
I got out saltine crackers and put them on a plate and gave it the lion. The lion ate the crackers as I sprinkled thyme on my head.
The lion said, “You don’t have to do that anymore. The crackers did the trick.”
I said, “If you say so. Would you like to watch a movie?”
The lion said, “That would be nice.”
I said, “Have you seen Midnight Run?”
👍🏼 The lion said, “No, but I heard it’s good.”