Going With the Flow

This morning I sold my wedding ring. I was married twelve years ago. The bride was my parent’s choice. I was okay with it because I read that arranged marriages tend to work better. It was a beautiful wedding. The cake was delicious.

My new wife and I took our honeymoon in Yosemite. I didn’t know she had a habit of sleep walking. She went out into the night and wandered into a bear’s cave. No, she wasn’t eaten. By the time I tracked her down, the bear had fallen in love with her, and I know instinctively not to argue with a bear.

I was forlorn. I walked for two months. I ended up in the northern part of the Canadian province of Saskatchewan, in a town called New Battleford. I got a job as a dishwasher. After a year I started feeling better.

The people of New Battleford liked me and I was elected mayor. I helped implement some positive changes for their sewer systems, I designed a law creating equal pay for women in the workplace, and I humanely rearranged their moose hunting season from 362 days a year to every other Saturday.

About a year ago, the bear and my ex-wife walked into town. The town’s people knew my history. They gathered in the streets fearing a showdown. I walked up the couple and greeted them. I asked my ex-wife if she was happy. She said surprisingly so. She said she favored the simpler life. The bear broke down in tears and said he was seeking to make amends. Now, I’ve never agreed with the idea of forgiveness. It’s like saying, “you suck and since I’m better than you I resolve you of your sin.” But he was a bear and I felt it was best to go with the flow.

The town’s people were so impressed by the bear’s sensitivity that they ousted me as mayor and gave the position to the bear. I felt it would be better if I left town and I moved back to Evanston, IL.

This morning I went out for my walk. As I was passing Cottage Jewelers, the owner, Ira, came out and said, “Brooks, today’s the day for you to sell your wedding ring. Gold just hit $1,300 an ounce.”

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