Interesting but unknown facts about time and time travel

Sometimes I like to get in my time machine and skim the surface of time rather than land in any particular moment. I see mountains, storms, sunlight, night, people, animals, machines, trees, water, buildings, and more flit by. I hear a rapid and symphonic warbling intermixture of human, mechanical, and nature sounds. It’s like experiencing a psychedelic movie, consisting of a few frames of multitudes of scenes. I am able to do this by constantly and randomly typing numbers into the time machine’s destination keypad. This also allows me to experience the wind like sensation in time. We don’t notice this breeze when we are in the midst of a moment, with time slowly passing. But this current is the momentum that is responsible for the flow of time. Kind of like the child in a playground, running alongside a wheel, spinning it with the palm of her hand.

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Things seem solid when we are experiencing a moment. For instance, right now I feel the soundness of the keys beneath my fingers as I type. But when I time travel back to when I started this paragraph, and hit the slow motion button, it becomes clear to me that microscopic tubes of molecule-based paint squeeze out the densely structured colors of the keys, which are forthwith removed by the unimaginably tiniest of erasers, and again the paint is reapplied to depict the depression caused by fingers on the keyboards. The painting and removal and painting of every thing occur over and over. The actual rapidity of these mechanisms in time create a force that feels solid. In some crazy way its similar to a flip book. I haven’t been able to see who or what chooses, squeezes out, erases, and re-squeezes the paint. The usual given answer is God. But I like to imagine it’s the Universal Infant I like to call Francine.

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When I first started time traveling, I kept hearing what sounded like a hum in the background as I went from the present moment to backwards or forwards in time. Eventually I figured it was some kind of malfunction in the Casio Deluxe Timer, and brought it into the shop. Reginald, the mechanic said nothing was wrong with my Timer. He explained that the hum I had been hearing was from Time itself. Time really likes its job and hums when it’s working, just like we do when we are having fun doing a task.

I’m impatient

I have over-animated insides. I’m hyper and impatient. Just writing this line, I’m thinking, “Why aren’t I at the end of the sequel to this book?” I like writing, but it doesn’t happen fast enough for my measurement scale of what’s tolerable. I learned to meditate a ways back as a way to try and relax. I do it regularly twice a day. It hasn’t slowed down the inner revving though. It has given me an acceptance of my naturally accelerated ways.

Time travel is perfect for me because it allows instant getting to the place and time I want to be. Of course there is the packing of snacks (some time and space destinations have abysmal food choices), then the walking to the machine, and finally typing in the destination, and sometimes all that seems to take forever (about ten minutes at the most), but I grin and bear it.

Today I took a time travel trip to just outside Caldwell, Idaho, June 10th, 1903. I waited alongside a dusty and dirty barely a road. The waiting wasn’t difficult because I brought a ping pong paddle and ball and began hitting the ball repeatedly up in the air. Sure it’s repetitious if you have to watch me do it, but doing it is illustrious for my mind.

I once waited six and a half hours for Columbus to arrive at the Bahamas in 1492 and the entire time I bounced that ball. I only had to restart four times. When he landed, Columbus was entranced with my ping-ponging and asked if he could try. I said no. He got upset and asked me again. I said he could have it for keeps if he left and went back to Spain. He wanted it so badly he agreed. I gave it to him and traveled back to my present day. When I got home, I got on Wikipedia to see if I changed history. I saw that not only had Columbus lied, venturing down to Central and South America, but he was considered the founder of ping-pong, which was now called Columbusing.)

Suddenly on the Idaho dirt road I smelled the distinct odor of gas and oil. Then I heard the approach of a loud put-put-puttering from an old-timey automobile. And then there it was, the Winton Motor Carriage, with two human passengers and a dog, coming my way. They stopped, got out the car, and introduced themselves. It was Horatio Nelson Jackson, Sewall Crocker, and their dog, Bud, all wearing goggles. They were in the midst of attempting the first car cross-country drive.

I bent down and pet Bud’s head. It was a nice thick head. That morning I’d seen a Ken Burns documentary about their famous drive, and was enamored of Bud from old silent film newsreel footage that was shown. That was the reason I took this trip. I once time-traveled to 1786, Mount Vernon, Virginia just to meet George Washington’s dog, Madame Moose.