I took my ant for a walk this morning. We were walking for about a half hour when someone started coming towards us with their pet aardvark. They had it on a leash. My ant was on a leash too. My ant got up on her hind legs and hissed at the aardvark. The thing is, aardvarks have long tongues. The aardvark’s tongue lashed out and caught my ant. I held on and fought, but the tongue is a strong muscle. The aardvark ate my ate. I was distraught. The aardvark’s owner apologized profusely.

I walked back home with tears in my eyes. I laid in bed and remembered all the good times. When I got up in the middle of the night five years ago and went to the kitchen for food and saw a trail of ants streaming from my trash can. I got angry and got out insecticide spray and was about to douse the ants when I saw one ant wave at me and smile. I pulled her aside and we stayed up all night talking and laughing…The way she could lift a watermelon over her head and whistle…The time when she wore a hat and mustache and pretended to be a life-insurance sales person.

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