Brooks’ Recent Posts


  • The meeting

    My horse, Mr. Fudge Pudding, came to a stop.

    I said, “Fudgy, what’s up?”

    Mr. Fudge Pudding said, “I’m tired.”

    I said, “Okay, let’s stop and take a rest.”

    I got off of my horsey. I took some carrots out of the side of the satchel and I fed them to Mr. F.P.

    He said, “Thank you,” and wolfed them down.

    I looked around at the desert. I love looking at the desert. It feels like it’s moving in place. I felt like the desert was looking back at me.

    I took a chance and said, “Desert, how’d you get so fine and dandy?”

    I saw waves occur in the air as I heard, “Thank you sir for your kind words. How are you and your horse friend doing?”

    I said, “I’m good.”

    Mr. Fudge Pudding said, “I’m tired.”

    I pet Mr. F.P.’s head. I said, “I rode 12 miles on Fudgy. He rarely complains.”

    Mr. Fudge Pudding said, “Today I’m more tired than usual. I had a hard time sleeping last night. Some nights I’m antsy.”

    The waves in the air said, “I’ve never slept. I don’t know what that’s like.”

    I said, “It’s like taking a long pause.”

    Mr. Fudge Pudding said, “Brooks, I’m feeling better and ready to go.” I said, “Okay, Fudgy.”

    I got back on Mr. F.P. and said to the desert, “It was good meeting you.”

    The desert didn’t say anything. I repeated myself. Nothing.

    Mr. Fudge Pudding said, “Let’s get going. This has already gone on for too long.”

  • Naturally

    Last night space aliens landed in my backyard. I went out to greet them. They said the bathroom on their spaceship was busted and asked if they could use my bathroom. They were squirming and everything, so I said of course.

    We all went into my home. One of the aliens used the bathroom, while the other three waited. They looked uncomfortable. I only had one bathroom. I said I wouldn’t be upset if they “went” outside in my backyard. They said they didn’t want to be rude. I said it wouldn’t be rude. I occasionally wake in the middle of the night and go pee outside. It makes me feel like a real property owner.

  • Woken up by Shiva, again

    I was woken up late last night by my friend Shiva the destroyer of universes. He was standing at the end of the bed. He said, “Are you awake?” which woke me up.

    I said, “What is it now, Shiva?”

    Shiva said, “I don’t know. I’m just worried about things.”

    I said, “What’s got your scared?”

    Shiva said, “Everything. I’m afraid all the time.”

    I said, “Well, give me an instance.”

    Shiva said, “I’m afraid I’m going to slip and fall on something slippery.”

    I said, “Have you ever slipped and fallen before?”

    Shiva said, “No. But I think about it a lot.”

    I said, “Well, maybe since it’s never happened, that’s one thing you don’t have to be worried about anymore.”

    Shiva said, “I guess.”

    I said, “That’s good, Shiva. Okay, I’m going back to sleep.”

    Shiva said, “Are we still friends?”

    I said, “Yes, of course. Why?”

    Shiva said, “I don’t know. It just sounds like your irritated at me.”

    I said, “I’m tired. That’s all.”

    Shiva said, “Are you sure?”

    I said, “Yes.”

    Shiva said, “Okay. You’re sure?”

    I said, “Yes!”

    Shiva said, “You sound upset.”

  • You and things about you

    I was thinking of you. The way you tie your shoes. The way you rub your nose when it itches. The way you sigh when things aren’t going your way.

    I like how you pause after saying “the.”

    You have a wonderful way of eating cheese.

    No one frowns like you.

    And then there was that time that you sat all day. You told me a few times you thought of getting up. But then you said you were enjoying sitting so much that you didn’t want to ruin it.

  • The Cloud

    I was out for a walk when I heard from above, “Look who thinks he’s Mister Big Deal.”

    I glanced up and saw a cloud glowering back.

    I kept walking.

    The cloud said, “Hey, don’t ignore me!”

    I didn’t look up.

    I heard a rumbling and then thunder as lightening struck the top of my head. Smoke was coming from where my hair used to be. I patted out the fire.

    I looked up at the cloud. I said, “Hey! What’s wrong?”

    The cloud did one of those things people do when their face trembles as they fight back tears. Suddenly rain came pouring from the cloud.

    I said, “It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.”

    The rain came down harder.

  • Warm

    I got eaten by the frog. Its long tongue shot out and I was swallowed. Once inside I was comforted by the frog’s wet and warm stomach. I fell asleep.

    I dreamt of sitting on Abraham Lincoln’s lap. He patted my head and told me things were going to be okay. I saw a tear coming from his right eye. Inside the tear I saw the glow of cities on fires.

    I was woken from the dream by another person being deposited into the frog’s stomach. He was panicked and said, “Oh my God, what’s going to become of us.” I said, “Just wait.” He fell asleep.

  • My job

    I dug a grave for 2019 and waited. At midnight, 2019 fell into the grave. I put the dirt I’d dug out on top of 2019.

    In the gap in-between I had a spaghetti dinner.

    Then I midwifed the birth of 2020. I said the usual, “Best of luck this year.” 2020 nodded and waddled on its way.

    I went to bed. It was daylight. But I was tired and fell asleep quickly.

  • In gratitude

    I became a park bench overlooking the lake. I liked the feeling of people’s warm butts sitting on me. It brought me comfort during a difficult time.

  • Gathering together

    I went around the house gathering pieces of dust that used to be me. I took my time. Eventually I’d collected enough and went to my desk to work on the assembling. When I was done, there was a second me.

    I put a shirt and a pair of pants on the duplicate. I stuck its pointer finger in the socket. The second me eye’s opened and blinked. It looked at me.

    It nodded. I nodded.

    I said, “What do you want to do?”

    The second me said, “I’d like to get a pound of red Twizzlers and eat them while watching the Rolling Stones in concert on YouTube with you.”

    I said, “Me too!”

  • I’d prefer being a duck

    I wanna be a duck. I like how they can live on top of water and not get wet. The water falls right off them. I’m tired of having to dry myself off whenever I have any kind of contact with water.

    I’m not sure how to become a duck. I might try thinking about it a lot and really hard. The mind is powerful. The thing is, if I instantly become a duck through mental means, and I’m in my home, how will I get to the lake? Ducks can’t open doors. I guess I might get lucky and suddenly become a duck while I’m driving. I always drive with the windows down. Once a duck, I can fly out the window and look for the nearest lake.

    Another thing I would like about being a duck is they quack. That’s an extremely simple way of communicating. English has so many words, and since I’m not good at making decisions, it can take me an awfully long time to write or say something. It’s taken me over four hours just to get to this place in the story. As a duck, this blog post would be, “Quack, quack, quack.” Or ever better, I wouldn’t write anything because ducks are disinterested in electronics.

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