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What I do in the morning

When I wake up in the morning, I go right back to sleep. I don’t think it’s important to jump right into doing things.

I’ll wake up and go back to sleep maybe eighteen or so times. It’s hard to tell the exact number because sleeping has a way of making me forget things.

Anyway, eventually I get out of bed. And then I stand for a while. It’s important to get the blood down to my feet before I ask them to do some walking for me. I’ll stand for about ten or eleven minutes.

And then I’ll walk outside. I want to make sure the sun is actually in the sky. Sometimes I’ve woken up thinking it was daytime, but that’s only because I forgot to turn out the lights when I went to sleep.

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Lunch?

I was out for a walk when I came upon a lion.

The lion said, “You ought to know I’m considering eating you.”

I said, ” I get it. I’m delicious.”

The lion said, “I thought so.”

I said, “But I’m not good raw. I’m ideal after baking at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Also make sure to coat me with avacado oil and sprinkle some thyme.”

The lion said, “Oh.”

I said, “What?”

The lion said, “I don’t have an oven, or any of those ingredients.”

I said, “That’s too bad. If you’d like you can come on over to my place and use my oven and ingredients.”

The lion sighed and said, “Really, are you sure it’s not a problem?”

I said, “Not at all. Let’s go.”

The lion and I walked to my house. I set the oven to pre-heat and got out a really big baking pan and began to douse myself with avocado oil.

The lion said, “My stomach’s grumbling. Do you have any snacks?”

I got out saltine crackers and put them on a plate and gave it the lion. The lion ate the crackers as I sprinkled thyme on my head.

The lion said, “You don’t have to do that anymore. The crackers did the trick.”

I said, “If you say so. Would you like to watch a movie?”

The lion said, “That would be nice.”

I said, “Have you seen Midnight Run?”

👍🏼 The lion said, “No, but I heard it’s good.”

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Giving it a try

Giving it a try

It was night and my friend Lightening and I were sitting on the sand by the shore. The area where we sat was lit up like it was daytime from my friends glow. I said I envied my friend. He asked why. I said because I wish I were as bright. Lightening touched my nose. I felt heat swiftly pass through my body. Suddenly I was all aglow.

A Dark cloud formed above us. I lifted up in an instant through the air and into the cloud. I hung in the mist, my body trembling. I shot downward with the sound of an explosion.

I struck the rooftop of a life guard station, splitting it in two and setting it on fire. I walked away, my body no longer glowing. I sat next to Lightening. He asked if I liked it. I said I felt dizzy and had a headache.

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I woke up in a cave

I woke up in a cave

I woke up in a cave. I forgot how I got there. I stood up and went outside. I looked around. I was in the middle of the woods. I didn’t know which direction to head and started walking.

After a few minutes it started to rain. I wasn’t wearing a raincoat and didn’t have an umbrella. I was soon soaked and I shivered. I looked for a tree that would block the rain. They all had some rain dripping through the branches and leaves.

One of the trees had a hollow at its base. I ran in and sat down next to a porcupine and mongoose. The warmth from their bodies was strong and soon I stopped shaking.

It rained for a while. None of us said anything.

The rain water began to collect around our feet. I began to shiver again and went back out.

I walked for a few miles while I hugged myself for warmth but it wasn’t helping.

I came to a house and knocked. A bear answered. I tried to talk through my shivering, but the bear couldn’t understand me. The bear invited me in and sat me down by the fire. I warmed up and stopped shivering.

I shared with the bear about how my day had started in the cave. The bear asked where the cave was located. I told him generally where it was. The bear said it might have been the cave where he had once lived. The bear said he moved out 13 years ago. He’d been living in the house ever since.

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The Stranger

The Stranger

I couldn’t come up with a blog post. I got up from my desk and went on a walk.

After a while I came upon someone sitting under a tree. He seemed to be in a reflective mood. I said, “Hi.” He looked at me but didn’t say anything back. I was embarrassed and said, “Oh, sorry. I was talking to the tree.”

I kept walking. Soon after I saw the same reflective person sitting under a different tree. I stopped and said, “How did you get from the other tree to this one? I didn’t see you get up.” I felt awkward again as he looked at me with the same silent eyes. I couldn’t use the same lame excuse that I was talking with the tree.

I continued walking. I walked for a while. I passed other trees, but the person wasn’t under any of them. I thought about him. Who was he? Why didn’t he say anything?

I couldn’t stand it, and walked back to the tree under which I’d last seen him. But he wasn’t there. I walked back to the previous tree. He wasn’t there either.

I was exhausted and sat under the tree. I mulled over what had happened. I looked up when someone said, “Hi.”

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The trip into town

The trip into town

I rode my hippo into town. It took a while because the hippo dawdles. I understand. The hippo has no business in town. I did. The hippo was happy hanging out in the barn, eating hay, and watching TV. The hippo’s favorite show is, “What’s My Line.” It’s a TV show from the 1950s. People come on the show, and the panel asks them questions to find out what that person does for work.

I parked the hippo outside Rexall’s Drug Store and went in. I couldn’t find the ointment I’d wanted. I asked one of the employees to help me. She said she’d never heard of it. I asked if they had another one which did the same thing. She looked around. She said, “What about this one?” and handed it to me. I looked at it. It was in a red box. I like red. I thanked her.

I paid and went outside. My hippo wasn’t there. I called out its name. I called out again. I walked home. I went in and had a drink of water. I went to the bathroom and applied the ointment. I looked at my face in the mirror. My image looked back at me. I apologized. My image asked me why. I said I didn’t know.