My interesting point of view is the result of my having been alive for over 48,000,000,000 years. I was around way before people. Back then I was friends with vapors and certain igneous rock formations. Life was carefree and simple.

Though there was that one time where I got in a fight with the Earth’s axis. I felt that it should be straight up and down, and the Earth preferred a tilt. We haven’t spoken since.

Perhaps I should be open-hearted and forgive and forget. But I honestly believe the reason I’ve been around so long is so that I can outlive the Earth because it will give me some kind of feeling that I won.

It’s late and I can’t sleep. The volcano in my backyard has erupted again and my bedroom is lit by the bright orange glow on the walls.

I was visited by the ghost of Leonardo Di Vinci. He told me that he was feeling lonely and wanted some company. The thing is, I’m a private person, and don’t like impromptu visits. Last week I angrily turned away a co-ghosting from Princess Di and Mother Theresa.

I expressed my feelings to the ghost of Leonardo. He said he understood and started to leave. But then he paused and sniffed away a cry.

My heart got the best of me and I said he could stay. We made lime jello and watched the movie, “Something Wild.” Then the ghost of Leonardo said he was feeling better and left.

I had the thought that I couldn’t wait to one day die so I could indiscriminately visit the living. It seemed so much better than watching TV.