Sprite on time!

I was playing golf with my dog Rexy. Rexy was having a great game, and actually got a hole in one.

Me, I had a lot of swings that didn’t hit the ball, and when they did, the golf ball either went backwards, split open, or sailed up and killed a bird, or dented a plane.

By the 12th hole, I’d had it and was running the golf cart over and over my golf clubs that I’d strewn across the green in frustration.

My dog Rexy brought me a Sprite soda from the club house. I stopped the cart and got out and drank the Sprite. It was delicious!!

She tried

The dog wouldn’t stop barking. So I joined in.

The dog stopped barking for a moment, staring at me.

Then the dog joined back in.

A cat came by and tried to bark along with us, but it had a difficult time.

The dog and I barked a little slower, with annunciation, in order to help out the cat.

The cat struggled for a while to match our barks. But it only ever sounded like a rough-hewn meow.

Details of time spent with P.T. Barnum

I had an hour free and decided to take a ride in time-travel machine back to April 7, 1891, and the home of circus impresario P.T. Barnum. Barnum was on his death bed, surrounded by his family.

I introduced myself as from the future. Though Barnum was struggling to stay alive, he seemed thrilled by my visit. He asked me many questions about what lay in store for the world.

I told him about canned whipped cream. Barnum didn’t understand how that was possible. I reached into my knapsack and took out a can (I take a dozen with me wherever I go. They give me that get-up-and-go-feeling I need to accomplish my many beyond normal tasks.) Barnum shot whipped cream into his mouth, and for a few minutes he was able to get up out of bed, dance with his wife, and join everyone in singing a rousing, “‘Jennie, the Flower of Kildare.”

Trying to get away

I dug a hole in my backyard and laid down in it.

The ground said, “What are you doing?”

I said, “I’m pretending I’m dead so that people will leave me alone.”

The ground said, “You gotta cover yourself up with dirt if you really want to make them believe.”

I covered myself up with dirt. I breathed through a straw barely sticking out above the ground.

I got drowsy and fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was above ground. I was curious how I got out.

I saw someone approaching me. I tried to say something to them, but couldn’t speak. When they reached me, they sniffed deeply.