The Rock

I was curious about an oddly shaped rock. I picked it up from the ground. Suddenly there was a sucking sound coming from the hole left in the ground from the rock’s absence. Neighboring rocks moved towards the hole and were quickly sucked into the vacancy.

Soon the same end was met by sticks, clumps of grass, and trash. I saw a scorpion, then a rabbit dragged against its will, disappearing into the vacant space.

I soon felt my feet sliding across the ground towards the hungry hallow. It was then I realized that I’d pulled an earth plug. I’d read about them in Arthur C. Clarke’s 3027: Earth’s Tell-Tale Tumult. If not replugged, the Earth itself would be swallowed up whole just like a snake eating itself tale first. 

Just before what would have been my last moment, I replaced the oddly shaped rock. The sucking stopped. Every thing was still again. 

I took a picture of the rock in case you see it. In other words, don’t pick it up.

Tug

Today is my fifth year as a tug-boat driver.

I took this job to help me recover from the incredible deluge of stress and strain I experienced from being first chair oboe player in the Berlin Harmonic Orchestra. (Sorry to my blog readers during that time for having to read and endure my frantic and eccentric posts.)

I now have a great deal amount of time by myself as I steer and guide the tugboat through Olmwich Harbor in the port of Philadelphia. Music is still a part of me though as I often hum melodies I hypnotically pull from the ether.
   
Below is a photo I took of my boat. It’s the only paddle-wheel tug boat on the east coast. I call it the Ovaltiner.

Home

I feel like opening up and telling you that I live in a kettle drum. Not all the time. Just when I come home from work.

I like living in this particular kind of drum because of its concave base. It allows me to lounge which is important because I like to take it easy.

The kettle drum has been my home for about seven years. You’re invited to visit me. But not on Friday or Saturday nights, or Sunday afternoon because the drum is part of the Santa Rosa symphonic series. I’m inside the drum at those times and enjoying the performance, and unfortunately when the lid is fastened there isn’t enough room for two.

Justice

I got an early morning visit from the ghost of Justice Antonin Scalia. We went outside and took a walk along the creek.

The ghost of Justice Scalia said, “When I was a boy, I used to walk along the crick behind our home. I’d get mesmerized by the hypnotic sounds of the water over the rocks, losing track of the hours. I’d sometimes walk all the way to the next county before I’d realize. I’d run home knowing that my ma would be waiting with the switch. I would often day-dream that I’d run into a circus and they’d take me with them and I could avoid the strict punishment awaiting me at home. But I would always return, knowing it was best.”

I said that must have been hard. I shared that my parents only spanked me once because I threw a snowball at a passing car.

The ghost of Justice Scalia held my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

My New TV Show

I was feeling distraught because I lost my job as an accountant. My wife got tired of my moping around the house all day and said I should take the opportunity to follow my dreams.

So I spoke with some local veterinarians and raised the money to produce a TV show called Brooks, As He Talks with the Animals. On the show I interview various animals. Some from zoos, some from the woods, some strays.

On yesterday’s show I interviewed a skunk. I asked how it will able to maintain its coiffed bouffant. The skunk thanked me but said it was naturally arranged. I asked the skunk if I could pet it with one of those high quality pet brushes. The skunk said yes.

The skunk’s hair was thick. I couldn’t believe it had no knots!