My pet rhino, Beryl, was spending the bulk of her waking time watching TV on the couch. This was getting me pissed because it was wrecking the couch.
So I got a DVD of rhinos in their natural wild habitat and played it on the TV. Beryl got all excited and ran around the room ramming all the furniture and dent splintering the walls. The only thing she didn’t wreck was the TV.
When the DVD was over she lay down on the rubble and remote switched the TV to Judge Judy.
I was visited by the ghost of former President William Henry Harrison. I wanted to be upfront with him and said I was unfamiliar with his accomplishments when in high office.
The ghost of Harrison said, “But you do know that I was once President of the United States of America?” I said I did.
The ghost of Harrison called out, “Hoodeeladoo!” and danced a jig.
Guess what? I’m dreaming about you. You have whip cream on your head and are walking a tightrope. I am shouting at you from below, “make sure not to fall, protect the topping at all costs!
I lay out on the grass in my backyard, blissfully soaking up the Sun.
The Sun said, “Do you miss me when I go away at night?”
I said that I do, and that I supplant by gazing at the sun’s rays reflecting off the moon.
The Sun said, “I created the moon just so we can stay in touch.”
That’s when the moon eclipsed the Sun, blotting out all light. I desperately reached around in the dark until I found my phone. I turned on the phone and smiled as the screen glowed onto my face.
The glow said, “It’s me, I thought I lost you!”
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