Finally
This is the best thing I’ve ever written.
Fermi
The ghost of Enrico Fermi came by to visit while I was taking my daily laying on the couch and looking up blankly at the ceiling time.
I asked the ghost of Fermi what he was holding.
Fermi’s ghost said, “It’s a bottle of the finest quantum foam.”
I asked if I could have some. Fermi poured me a glass and I took a sip. It tasted like I was drinking a cloud’s antenna monocle dream setback appeased.
The Conversation
I said to the cloud, “What you are doing being down there?”
The cloud said, “I’m not, fool.”
I said, “But it’s what I’m seeing.”
The cloud said, “Dude, you’re looking in a puddle.”
I touched the cloud with my toe and it rippled.
The puddle said, “Hey, what’s the big deal?!”
Shiva
I was sitting in my office when Shiva, the creator and destroyer of all that exists showed up.
I’m not good with celebrities, so I tried to introduce myself, but I mumbled something unintelligible.
Shiva said, “What? I can’t understand you.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
Shiva said, “You have nice teeth.”
I got all excited and somehow said, “Really?”