The ghost of scientist Madam Curie happened by. I said I knew who she was without an introduction.
The ghost of Curie was delighted and did a pantomime waltz.
When she finished, we sat in silence. An hour went by. I found that I was no longer thinking of her as a famous ghost. She was just another someone. Me too.
That was rare. It’s the same feeling I get about the trees after I’ve been in the woods for a while.
The dust approached my home. I said, “I’ve been expecting you.”
The dust said, “Drat, I was hoping to be a surprise.”
The dust engulfed my home. Pretty soon I couldn’t see myself.
I said, “I can’t tell where you end and I begin.”
The dust let out a pleased sigh.
This is what I use to write my Better Late than Dead blog posts. I find it helps me be more honest about what’s going on because it’s loud, ominous, and requires heft in order to type. I hand the finished paper to my assistant Burt. Burt then types it onto the computer. Burt thinks I’m a fool. But I’m paying him $18 an hour, so he readily completes the task.
I used to be underground as copper. Life was simpler because I was never handled. I enjoyed living amidst the dirt.
But then occasionally I was interfered with by a worm. Worms are despicable creatures who have not a thought about what they tread on. Everything is a stepping stone to get to what they want. They offend and madden me…Perhaps it’s better being a penny.
God and I went for a walk out in the countryside.
I asked what makes God angry. God thought about it for a moment and then declared, “Lemons!”
I pointed to a lemon grove off in the distance. God smote the grove with the full power of the universe.
After which the air was permeated with a refreshing lemon aroma.
