The Coldest Show at the Heartland

Last night there was an In One Ear show at the Heartland Cafe. The weather had a strong effect on the cafe. The subzero temperatures cracked and busted the windows. The heater cracked and died. The snow caved in part of the roof. But Pete Wolf got on stage and said, “The show must go on!”

Luckily the electricity still worked. The stage lights illuminated the performers and the steam that came out of their mouths as they spoke.

Eric got on stage and held a thermometer in his hands. He described the falling temperature numbers. Eventually the mercury busted out the glass bottom.

John Shirk got on stage and read from Leviticus in the Bible. He told the eerily similar story of Bartholomew and Bathsheba when they tried to hold a dinner party for Christ but the temperatures reached an all time low in Jerusalem, resulting in the freezing and cracking of the aqueduct. John then asked everyone to pause and reflect. This was hard to do because everyone had to keep moving to keep our circulation going.

Billy did a powerful poem where he said one word every ten seconds. The amazing thing was each word froze in the air and landed on the ground and cracked into many pieces.

I played harmonica. Unfortunately it froze to my lips. Someone had to light a lighter on the harmonica to get it to thaw out. My lips are very sensitive today.

Jane the Bartender came on stage and announced free beer to assist in keeping the audience warm. She brought out mugs of beer. However the beer was frozen in the mugs and we had to lick our beers. It’s hard to lick a beer enough to get warm.

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