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Things I look at

Things I look at

I like to look at the sky.

The sky has no words or other types of information. The sky has no face with eyes to look back at me.

I like to look at the sky because it doesn’t have those things.

I look at the sky for about a minute. Any more than that and my neck hurts.

When I’m done looking at the sky, I look at the ground.

I look at the ground to make sure it doesn’t feel alienated from all my sky attention. You don’t want the ground to be angry at you because it will kick your ass with a trip, a hole, or an earthquake.

When I’m done looking at the ground, I sit down.

I sit because if I stand too much my back hurts. My back is curved. It’s called scoliosis. It’s a result of when I got sick in the past and lost some weight. The spine got confused with less meat to hold it in place and began to wander around. When I got well and the meat back, the spine was frozen in its wanderings. So it sometimes hurts.

When I’m done sitting, I go inside my house and pet my dog Rexy’s head. Rexy likes her head pet. If I don’t pet her head often, she shits on the rug, or digs up my plants. I understand. I get the same way if I don’t get my head pet often enough.

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Visiting a wayward friend

Visiting a wayward friend

I went to the castle for a visit. I knocked and no one answered. I knocked again. The door opened up mysteriously, like it does in movies, with no one on the other side. I went in and called out, “Hello, is anyone home?” My voice echoed. No one answered.

I walked up the long and foreboding staircase. There was no rail, so I leaned on the stone wall to be safe. I picked up a great deal of spider webs on my back and shoulder. I remember, a spider riding on my arm saying to me, “Really?”

When I got to the top of the stairs, I knocked on the oblong door. The door opened and I was greeted by the Frankenstein Monster, or as I like to call him, Burt. He was listening to his cassette Walkman. Burt said, “Brooks, I’m sorry. I forgot you were coming over.”

I said, “It’s not a problem, Burt. Can I come in?” Burt opened the door wide, and motioned me in. I went in and sat down in a bean bag chair. It was in bad shape because Burt sat in it a lot. He is large and dense. So I mostly landed on concrete and it hurt my butt. I didn’t let Burt know, but I could tell he knew.

Burt sprawled on the floor. Burt said, “If you can’t sit, splay the space.”

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The Sun had enough

The Sun had enough

The Sun had enough and left the solar system. It got so dark that none of the planets could see where they were going and they ran into each other. There was a lot of grumbling and antics.

When it all settled down, the planets decided they needed a system of lights. They’d learned the hard way that if one light goes out and that’s all they got, they’re screwed. So they sent out their intent through the interplanetary mailing system, and waited.

Not long after, a number of stars from various galaxies showed up for the interview. They had resumes and letters of recommendations, and each expounded on why they would be superior space light bulbs.

142 stars were interviewed, but the planets only had enough money to hire 7. It was hard, but the planets narrowed it down, and announced their decision. The ones that didn’t make the cut were either angry or depressed. They left crying and swearing.

The 7 stars were excited to start their job, when the previous Sun returned. The Sun said that it just needed a break and was ready to go back work. There was an awkward silence as the planets didn’t know what to say. The Sun looked around, noticed the 7 stars, and got the picture. It said there were no hard feelings and left.

The Sun ducked behind a black hole and watched the solar system from afar, cursing and plotting revenge.

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The desk

The desk

I sat at my desk. The pen sat on the paper. I breathed out and a hanger fell from my mouth. It landed and lay on the desk.

A duck descended onto the window sill. It looked through the glass at me. It had brown eyes like mine. One of its eyes were bloodshot.

I scratched the back of my head. My head crumbled. The pieces landed on the desk.

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What about Bitty?

What about Bitty?

I walked down the street. Hundreds of dogs were lined up on the sidewalks of both sides of the street. The dogs sat and nodded as I strolled by.

When I got to the end of the street, I stopped and looked back at all the dogs looking at me. After a moment, I said, “Free!” All the dogs leapt up and ran to me.

I said, “And so begins the 200-hundred mile jaunt!” The dogs barked in concordance.

A schnauzer named Blerck said, “Wait, what about Bitty?”

I looked back up the street and saw Bitty the bulldog sitting still, focused on something nearby.

I yelled, “Bitty, your presence is requested.”

Bitty wouldn’t look at me, but yelled back, “I’m staying. There’s one leaf left on the oak tree and I don’t want to miss it fall.”