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Seeking some more advice from Shiva

Seeking some more advice from Shiva

I felt frustrated and climbed eighteen hours to the top of Mount Mendenenend to seek advice from Shiva. I came across Shiva who was sitting cross-legged on a mat.

Shiva said, “What is it now?”

I said, “I’m frustrated.”

Shiva said, “Okay, sit next to me, under the Moonlight.”

I sat down next to Shiva. An hour went by. Then another two hours. I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was back at home, in my bed. I heard a sound coming from the kitchen. I asked who was there.

Shiva came into my bedroom, with a plate, loaded down with a foot high of food. Shiva sat down on the end of my bed and began to eat.

I said, “How did we get back to my place?”

Shiva said, “The problem with you is you’re always asking questions. Sometimes you just have to enjoy a full plate of food.”

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A nice time spent with the ghost of Washington

A nice time spent with the ghost of Washington

George Washington

While eating lunch, I was visited by the ghost of George Washington.

It wasn’t the first time. He visits me a few times a month. Last year he stopped by when I was taking a bath. He was very calm about it. Back in the late 1700s, nudity was unimportant. Bodies weren’t sexualized as they are now. Seeing someone’s naked body was like seeing a watermelon without a shirt.

On today’s visit, I was eating a BBQ turkey leg. The ghost of Washington was enthralled by the intensity of the smell of the seasonings. He said, “It feels like three times the dose of snuff.”

I set down the turkey leg, and wiped off my hands on a napkin. The ghost of Washington took off his wig and let me rub his bald head. It’s something we both enjoy doing.

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I thought I would be okay, but I wasn’t, and then I was

I thought I would be okay, but I wasn’t, and then I was

I took a trip to Antarctica.

I didn’t realize there would be so many penguins. I’m allergic to penguins. (I had thought when I got there, there would be just a few penguins and that I could avoid them and be okay.)

As a result I was coughing and sneezing repeatedly. Normally that would have drove me nuts, but I forgot to wear a coat and my allergic reactions kept me warm.

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The fate of the chocolate guitar

The fate of the chocolate guitar

chocolate guitar

I used to have a chocolate guitar.

I don’t have it anymore because when I played it, it melted in my fingers.

Rather than wash off my fingers, I licked them clean, and now I have no chocolate guitar.

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The Special Book

The Special Book

“Hi. I’m the book that’s four rows down, and seven from the left.

I look similar to my fellow books, but I’m different. I’ve never been checked out.

Once a person picked me up and leafed through me, but she put me back.

For a while, I took it personally. I thought something was wrong with me. I smelled like mildew. I had an unattractive cover. I had a bad call number.

But I’ve accepted my fate. Now I’m happy to be with the other books. I enjoy watching people walk by. I like the buzzing sounds from the florescent lights.”