My birth story

I was a stork birth.

As a baby, a stork dropped me from the sky and into a chimney. There was a fire going, but I was okay because I was wearing asbestos diapers. Storks knew the possibilities and planned ahead.

My parents were sitting by the fire at the time. They were surprised. But also good reactors and pulled me from the fireplace.

They named me Brooks because they were both fans of water but felt Ocean would have given me a big head.

I was a cute baby and the next day they got me an agent, and the day after that I was cast in a Pampers commercial. It was very popular and seen by President Nixon who declared me the Nation’s Baby Laureate.