Lunch with the boa constrictor

Today I was sitting under the elm tree in my backyard when a boa constrictor snake fell from the tree and landed in front of me. The snake said, “Do you mind if I eat you for lunch?” I thought about it. I consider all requests. It’s a kind thing to do.

I said to the snake, “Thanks for asking, but I prefer you ate something else.” The snake said, “Drat!” I said, “You know what?” The snake said, “No, what?” I said, “How would you like to share a bologna and Swiss cheese sandwich with me?”

The snake said, “Would you melt the cheese?” I said, “Do you really need to ask?” The snake smiled and said, “Yes, that would be great!”

I went inside and made the sandwich. I put it in the oven until the cheese was melted, and then I took it out. I cut the sandwich in half, putting each half on a plate.

I went outside and gave the snake a plate. The snake thanked me. We ate in silence. When we were done I said, “How was your sandwich?” The snake said, “I hope you don’t take it personally, but it was better than I imagine how you would have tasted.”