Oh, boy

I sat at my desk with a pad of paper and a pen. The pen asked if it could be put back in the pen jar since I hadn’t written anything for near an hour. I told the pen that I need its support and confidence, otherwise I’ll never write anything. The pen said okay. Another half hour went by. The pen gave me a look. I said, “Seriously!”

I gave up and took my rocket ship to visit my friend the Sun. When I got there the Sun was surprised to see me. I said I was curious as to why since the Sun should have seen me coming for at least 10,000 miles. There’s nothing but darkness in space and my rocket ship puts out a really big flame. The Sun said it’s very busy and sometimes doesn’t notice things going on outside of it.

On the way home, my right thumb talked non-stop, saying things like, “I really like the color blue, but sometimes I like red.” And, “Sometimes my thoughts have commas.” And, “I wish I was on the left hand. The fingers on the right smell like the waist band of a donkey’s underwear.”

When I got back home I decided to relax and watch a movie. But realized I needed something first, so I got in my time machine and went back in time to visit Jesus when he was working as a carpenter in Judea. I didn’t speak the language, so I drew out a small side table that I wanted him to make. I walked around town for a few hours and came back. He was finished. As payment I gave him my old cell phone that no longer works. I came back to today and put the side table next to my couch. I got a drink of water and set it on the side table.

I sat on the couch and watched a movie on Netflix called, “As Valuable as a Handshake in a Lonely Heart’s Club.” It stared Sean Connery. It was made in 1969. The movie was about a man named Paul who is afraid to leave his house. He had food delivered to his doorstep so he didn’t have to go to the grocery story. He peaked out from behind the shades a lot. The story got interesting when a woman named Daphne parachute sky dived for the first time from a plane and because she was only a beginner missed the field and crashed through the roof of Paul’s house and landed next to him on his bed where he was laying down and fretting about the outside world. Daphne introduced herself and Paul, after an awkward hesitation, responded and shook her hand.