Good vibes?

I woke up in the middle of the night to vibrations in the air. I know, that sounds weird. The air around me was warbling. I must have picked up the sensations on my skin. Since I didn’t know what it was, I couldn’t do anything about it, and got up and went to the living room. I lay down on the couch and fell asleep.

I woke up again to the vibrations. They had followed me. I don’t like to be followed. I feel like prey.

Since I didn’t know what it was, I spoke to it. I said things like, “Why are you here? What do you want from me?” Maybe that sounds dumb, talking to a quiver. I do a lot of what are probably dumb things. The soap I use when taking a shower, I use it until there’s nothing left. Towards the end, I wash my body with a transparent sliver of soap. I apply it until it disappears into my skin. It’s frustrating. It doubles my time in the shower, time I can’t spare.

So, I was half certain the air-borne pulse would talk back to me. Maybe because it was late at night and I was frazzled. Or maybe because I’m lonely and crave connection with things not human because it seems like it would be so much simpler. Or I am cursed with a child’s reasoning. The other half of me was embarrassed with certainty that someone would see me talking with nothing. Who? I figured a neighbor looking from outside through a slit in the blinds.

The shaking air continued without a vocal response. But it seemed there were fluctuations in its oscillations. I tried to interpret them. I got the feeling the space waves were saying, “Would you please pet my unders?” So I held my right hand palm up under the reverberations and lightly stroked in circles.

The air tremblings got thicker and I thought…”Oh, my God, I’m having sex with a current.” And then with a wave of shame I thought, “It knows what you just thought, and is repulsed because what’s happening is no where near the vicinity of sex.”

So I picked up the remote and turned on the TV, my turn to balm for anything uncomfortable. My Favorite Martian was on. I was happy because I like that show. It was the episode where Uncle Martin, the Martian, has a malfunction and becomes a baby. His human friend Tim has to bathe, feed, and diaper him. Tim is terrible in his attempts. It’s funny because it supports my great fears of ever being a dad.

I realized the vibrations were watching along with me. Whenever there were some crazy antics on the show, the vibrations got bigger. It was laughing. It turned out we were in the middle of a My Favorite Martian marathon. We watched back-to-back episodes till noon!