I had lunch with Keith Richards, the guitarist for the Rolling Stones.

I asked Keith whether the Stones would be touring this year. He said no because he’s not feeling that well and needs to take it easy. I said that I was going to do standup last night, but was exhausted and decided to sleep instead.

I told Keith about a dream I had last night where I was King of the World. I sat on a throne of gold. People came by all day long to give me more gold and praise me. Eventually I got hungry. There were no snacks around. So I took off my crown of gold and had a bite. The crown turned out to be soft and delicious!

Keith said that he once ate a gold ring for real. He was drunk and wondered what a ring would taste like. He swallowed the ring like a vitamin. It tasted metallic. He didn’t care for the taste and so he didn’t do it again.

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