I decided to build a tree. I was tired of planting things and waiting for them to grow.

So I took a bunch of old newspapers and put them in a big bucket. I added the newspapers because they used to be trees and I think they would do well with a second chance. I added some oatmeal and water. I included some pieces of metal because of their strength inducing qualities. I put in some dirt and yolks. I added the egg parts because I was hoping it would make the eventual tree enticing for birds and their nests. I had my neighbor come over, who’s a priest, and pray for the tree. I don’t believe in God, but I don’t want to take any chances in case I’m wrong. I tore out some photos of trees (birch, crab apple, and willow) from the encyclopedia because the best things stand on the shoulders of their predecessors.

I mixed the goop and formed the mixture into the shape of a seven foot tree. I included roots because it gave my frankentree some stability and confidence. I dug a hole in my backyard and installed the tree. I couldn’t believe how beautiful my grayish mighty tree looked!

When I got up the next morning, I went out and looked at my tree and was stunned to see that it had a full coat of leaves, two bird nests with chirping baby birds, and some sap running out the side of the tree. I ran over and touched and tasted the sap. It was maple syrup!

The tree put it’s branch arm around me and said, “It’s my way of saying thanks.”

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