I sat on the rock and watched the Sun going down.
When it was near its final ebb, the Sun said, “Do you want to come with me?”
I said, “Really, do you mean it?”
The Sun said, “Absolutely.”
I got off the rock and ran desperately across the horizon towards the Sun, not knowing if I would make it in time.
The Sun said, “Don’t worry, I’ll wait.”
I like to come out here to write. It’s quiet and there are no distractions.
And if I get stuck, I ask the pieces of dead trees for help. Just because something is dead doesn’t mean it isn’t of any use. Actually, what’s dead can be more useful because it’s not having to spend all its time doing the things that come with being alive.
There was nothing going on and I was getting restless, so I got in my time-travel machine and rode back to 1634, Florence, Italy, and the home of Galileo Galilei.
Galileo was in a fowl mood because he was under house arrest for saying that the Earth moved around the Sun. I knew that because I read it on Wikipedia before I went to visit him. I like to find out famous people’s low points in their lives and travel to that time and place to try and cheer them up. It always makes me feel good when I’m feeling low myself.
I showed up wearing a clown nose and I made funny sounds and walked around like a monkey. I don’t speak Italian, so this tends to get the job done when I don’t speak the language. Galileo laughed so hard he fell on the ground. This made me feel better, and glad I’d made the trip.
I took my rowboat out on the Ocean today. I do this once a week because it helps develop my pecks and deltoids.
When I had gotten so far from the shore that it was no longer visible, I stopped and took a break. Muscle building requires adequate rest and activity.
I opened my cooler and got out a can of Vita-Schmidst. It’s a German energy drink. I like it because it’s marshmallow flavored.
I drank it down and watched the waves. According to my doctor, waves have a calming effect. This helps me with me anxiety. I’m an anxious dude.
It was then that I saw the whale surface. It was like a building suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
The whale noticed my alarm and said, “Oh, don’t worry. I won’t hurt you. I just came to the surface to get a change of pace. The under Ocean can get quite monotonous.”
I said, “Thanks for letting me know I’m not in danger. I have a problem with anxiety. I was nervous for a moment there, but now I’m better.”
The whale said, “My name is Bita-bita.” I said that I was Brooks.
We’d talked for about 15 minutes when my alarm went off. I said that I needed to get back to my rowing in order to best enhance my upper development.
The whale said, “It was good meeting you, Brooks. I hope to see you again sometime soon.”
I said that I would like it too. I’m pretty sure I meant it.
I went out to the woods to see the Tree.
The Tree said, “What do you want?”
I said, “I’m sorry, I thought we had a two o’clock appointment.”
The Tree said, “Oh, yeah. Right.”
I said, “I’m sorry, is this a bad time?”
The Tree said, “No, it’s…I forgot.”
I said, “I can come another time.”
The Tree said, “No, you came all the way out here. Go ahead.”
I took out my notepad and said, “Here’s my list of all the weird things that happened this week. 1. I saw an elderly man cross the street. Halfway across he began to sink into the asphalt. When he realized what was happening, he raised an eyebrow, and then shrugged, and sank the rest of the way under. 2. I was woken three nights ago by a mouse. The mouse was straddled on my nose. The mouse said, “Oh, I’m sorry to have awaken you. It’s just that I find this warm and comfortable.” I said, “I was startled at first because a mouse had never done that on me before. But now I’m finding it warm and comfortable too.” And I fell quickly asleep. 3. I took yesterday off and flew my rocket ship to the Moon. I went because I needed to do some writing on my novel and it was the only way I could get the peace and quiet I needed. But when I got there I was distracted by the noise of my thoughts, so I came back home, and didn’t do any writing that day…How about you?”
The Tree said, “I didn’t write anything down.”
I said, “Well, was there anything you remembered that was out of the ordinary?”
The Tree thought about it. Then it said, “Yes, actually. This morning an ant was climbing up my bark. I normally never notice because it happens a lot, and I never feel it. But this morning it tickled. I couldn’t stand it and I began to shake and laugh. I couldn’t stop laughing, and it got so bad that I thought I was going to pass out. The ant said, “What’s so funny?” This made me laugh even harder. That’s when the ant started laughing.”
