“Do you want to share a room?”

My bike

My bike wanted me to take it for a ride. I said that I was too busy with work, but if it wanted to, it could go for a ride by itself. My bike said yes. 

I looked up from my work at one point and saw my bike waving at me as it rode up and down the street. I waved back. 

After another hour of work I looked up again and saw my bike waving frantically as it rode by, saying, “Look at me, look at me! I found some friends!”

Bickers

My pet firefly Bickers said, “I’m tired of lighting up at night because it keeps me from falling asleep.” 

I asked Bickers why would he want to sleep. He only lives two months. That doesn’t leave him much time to get things done. 

Bickers said, “Getting things done is not important to me like it is to you.” 

I got out a thimble from my sewing kit and put it on Bicker’s butt. Bickers was asleep in seconds.

Dean Radin Tested

Because I want you to get the best Better Late than Dead blog posts I can possibly write, I work with famed noetic parapsychologist scientist, Dean Radin, who lab tests all my posts.

The above picture is taken of Dean doing lab research on my post about an elephant that has extensive, rational, and visionary thoughts, but lives in extreme frustration because he can only express himself through a limited range of trumpet sounds.

Benedict

I took my pet ant, Benedict, out for a walk. We came upon my neighbor, Wallace, who was out walking his pet aardvark, Shumkin. Shumkin lunged toward Benedict, tongue extended. I grabbed Benedict and put him in my mouth.

Shumkin gave up and he and Wallace continued on their walk. I waited until they were around the corner when I took Benedict out of my mouth and set him back on the ground.

Benedict said that it was fast thinking on my part, but what if I’d accidentally swallowed him?

I said that I would have felt badly.

Benedict said that it was nice that I cared either way.