I wish you were closer to my…
The Flashlight
I was outside during the day, shining my flashlight.
The Sun said, “What are you doing?”
I said that I was helping.
The Sun said, “Wow, you’re really making a big difference!”
I said thanks.
My flashlight said, “The Sun is being supercilious.”
I whispered that I agreed but it helps to look like an idiot to your benefactor so they keep wanting to help you.
The List
I gave God a list of the things I didn’t like about my life and the preferred solutions.
God said, “Okay.”
Suddenly I became a pig in a slaughter-house. Of course I was upset.
God said, “I understand and I’m sorry about that, but I really like bacon.”
Prince and I
I went to high school with Prince. We were best buds.
Prince was the Math Club’s treasurer. He shared with me that he wanted to one day become an accountant. I was second tambourine in the marching band. I shared with Prince my ambitions to one day play in Parliament-Funkadelic. We used to make fun of each other’s ambitions.
One day curiosity got the best of us and we decided to trade lives for a week. Within a week Prince was made first tambourine, and I became Vice-President of the Math Club. We never looked back.
