What happened under the tree

I sat under the tree. The tree said, “You’re so lucky to be able to walk around and go wherever you like.”

I said, “Yes, and out of all the places I could go, I chose to be with you.”

The interesting thing I saw at my temp job

Today is day nine of my office temp job at the Trump Transition Headquarters. I pretty much file papers and hardly see anyone.

But today I was walking through the lobby and saw Mr. Trump asleep in a chair. I’ve heard that he never sleeps at night and falls asleep randomly during the day in various places. I thought of putting a sign on him that said something like, “Please put mannequin outside in dumpster.”

But I decided against it when I realized that if someone actually did what the sign said I would probably end up feeling lousy.

Poeing

I took my time machine back to 1843 Baltimore and the home of Edgar Allan Poe. Mr. Poe wasn’t there.

At first I was all reverential of the space. But then I lost it and started skipping around and singing, “Nevermore, nevermore, you heard what I said, neeeeverrrmooore!”

That’s when Mr. Poe came home and said, “For the love of Godin, what be the meaning of this intrusion?!”

I thought, “Who’s Godin?”

The Rock

I sat on the rock.

The rock said, “Would you please not sit on me.”

I apologized and stood next to the rock.

The rock said, “Would you please stand somewhere else.”

I said okay and walked about 100 feet away.

The rock said, “I can still see you!”

The late night visitor

I was woken by a tapping at my bedroom window. I sat up in bed and opened the window.

I said, “Who’s there?”

A voice said, “It’s me.”

I asked who that was.

The voice said, “Brooks, it’s me, the Moon!”

I took off my sleep mask and was met by the bright and shiny planetary visage. It was like the brilliant flash of a camera and for a few moments I couldn’t see anything and I fell out of bed.

The Moon laughed but I didn’t think it was funny.