Fred makes a Freddy!

My friend Fred makes art. He calls them Freddys!

If you would like to own your own Freddy, check this out https://thefredshow.club/freddys-art-by-fred/

The Split

I was woken by a rumbling.

I sat up in bed and looked around. A crack appeared in my floor. The room split in two.

The crack spread down and down until the Earth broke into two pieces.

I saw people looking back at my half of the Earth as it moved away from them. I waved. A few people waved back.

Backed up

🥴 I was feeling off. Kind of bloated in the head, mouth, and throat.

Then I realized I hadn’t thought, said, or written anything for a couple of hours. There was a word backup.

So I opened my mouth and jettisoned words non-stop for twenty-five minutes.

When I was done, there was quite a big pile of words on the floor. I swept them up and shifted them into the empty pages of a notebook.

Then I shook up the book and mailed it to my literary agent.

What I woke up to

👋 I was woken up by Wednesday saying, “Brooks! Brooks! Wake up!”

I said, “What is it, Wednesday? Is the house on fire?”

Wednesday said, “No, it’s just that I made you this day, and I’d love to see what you think of it.”

I looked around my room.

I said, “It looks like yesterday.”

Wednesday began to cry and said, “I’m sorry. I really wanted you to like it.”

I said, “But Wednesday, I really liked yesterday!”

💓 Wednesday said, “Yaaaaaaaay!”

I live with ants!

🐜 I live in an underground ant colony.

I like it because it feels good to be part of a community.

I’m not an ant. But the ants don’t seem to mind.

🥮 Actually, they’ve told me they like how I can go out into the world, purchase an angel food cake, and place it just outside the ant hill for my fellow co-habitaters to disassemble and bring down into the tunnels.

I’m often asked how I’m able to squeeze into the entrance of the anthill? I don’t, but instead, I dug a human-sized hole right next to my friendly roommates subterranean passageways.

👋 I lay down in the hole and wave back at the ants as they go about their day.

What I do in the morning

When I wake up in the morning, I go right back to sleep. I don’t think it’s important to jump right into doing things.

I’ll wake up and go back to sleep maybe eighteen or so times. It’s hard to tell the exact number because sleeping has a way of making me forget things.

Anyway, eventually I get out of bed. And then I stand for a while. It’s important to get the blood down to my feet before I ask them to do some walking for me. I’ll stand for about ten or eleven minutes.

And then I’ll walk outside. I want to make sure the sun is actually in the sky. Sometimes I’ve woken up thinking it was daytime, but that’s only because I forgot to turn out the lights when I went to sleep.