The delightful slog

I climbed six hours to the top of the mountain. Once there, I walked into my guru’s cave.

My guru was polishing a large boulder. He looked up and with irritation said, “What now, Brooks?”

I said, “Oh, Swami, I’m generally dissatisfied. What can I do to get out of my funk?”

My guru looked at me and said, “You like the shirt you are wearing too much to ever take it off.”

I bowed, thanked him, and walked back down the hill.

I went back home and was greeted by my dog Rexy who said, “How did it go?”

I said, “My discontent is as permanent as my skeleton.”

My dog Rexy said, “Great, can we play fetch now?”

Furt the Bear

Furt the Bear comes upon a campsite where people are having a picnic. The people freak out and Furt says that he just wants to sit and enjoy a sandwich with them. The people calm down and Furt takes a seat and eats a PB&J sandwich.

Furt kindly asks if he can have another sandwich. The people say there aren’t enough sandwiches for seconds. Furt tries not to lose it, but does, and tips over the table and the people run away.

Furt eats the rest of the sandwiches now laying on the ground. He doesn’t mind that they are dirty.

Watering

I was sitting on the sand looking out at the Ocean. I got restless, stood up, took off my sandals, and walked into the water. I can hold my breath for a really long time, so I wasn’t concerned when my head went under.

I walked for a while. I looked up and around at the fish. I feel calm looking at fish. Some darted around me. Some peeked out of tiny caves. Others moved by in a school swath, looking like one big fish.

I enjoyed feeling the wet sand between my toes as I walked. It tingled in an erotic way.

I lost track of time. I needed to catch a breath. I swam towards the surface. Once up there I tread water. I liked the feeling of the water carrying me up and down.

I looked back and couldn’t see the land. I felt tired. I started swimming towards where I had come from. Eventually I saw the beach way far off. I began to get a cramp.

That’s when a whale lifted me up out of the water, carrying me on its back. I pat its skin to show I was grateful.

The whale was swimming away from the beach. I leaned towards its ear hole and asked if it could go the other direction. The whale continued on.

I lay back and felt the Sun on me.

Watered

My dog Rexy and I were far out on the Ocean in our boat when it began to sink. We tried patching the hole with gum. We had a lot of packs of Bazooka Joe in the cupboard because it’s our favorite. We chewed and stuck the gum in the boat’s gushing hole. But I guess it was the salt water that made the gum unstick.

We had to abandon the boat and got in the rubber raft. The rubber raft was nice because it was smaller then the big boat and so required much less work. We both fell asleep after being in it for a few minutes.

When we woke up it was night. We both remarked about the dense glowing star-filled sky.

Rexy hummed a song. I felt like I’d heard it before, but I couldn’t tell. Rexy said, “I made it up.”

Thirsty!

I like to drink water. But not just a glass. I like to drink a lake. It takes me a good two hours, but I’ll drain it dry. After a morning’s drink of a lake I won’t need to drink any more water for the rest of the day.

The next day’s morning, I have to find another lake to drink because the last one I drank will take a good year or longer to refill. What I do is look on the map and see which lakes don’t have an X that I drew on them.

Sometimes I have to drive over an hour to get to a full lake. I might have to travel to another state. My lifestyle choice means I don’t have a permanent place to live because I would have to drive too far to get to a full lake.

I live in hotels and motels. After drinking a lake, I like to come back to my room and lay down in the bed and feel the water gurgle through my intestines. It sounds like a minute stream.

appendage

My right arm fell off when I got out of bed this morning. It hit the floor with a thud, kind of what I imagined it would sound like if I dropped a whole frozen chicken. I bent over and picked it up. I tried to put it back where it came from. Like reattaching a Barbie arm. But it wouldn’t stick.

Since it didn’t hurt, I tucked it under my left arm and went downstairs to make breakfast. I get pretty hungry in the mornings and if I don’t eat right away I get antsy. I set my right arm on the counter and tried to make eggs with just my left. It was difficult. I tried and managed to fry the eggs, though I made a big mess on the stove and the floor. I ate the eggs and felt better.

My dog Rexy came into the kitchen and ate the food mess on the ground. Then she asked if we could play fetch. I said yes since it only takes one arm. We went out into the backyard. But we couldn’t find any sticks that I could toss. So I went back inside and got my other arm, and came back out and tossed it. Rexy ran after and brought it back. I think she might not have gotten it that it was my arm. But I was mostly glad that she didn’t try and eat it.