Underwater

I woke up on the bottom of the ocean. I knew because strange, awkward, and bug-eyed ugly fish were swimming around me. Plus I felt the weight of a tremendous pressure and it made me dizzy and gave me a headache. I think they call that the bends.

I managed to stand and swim to the surface. I got to the air and gasped. I tread water and looked around. There was only water to behold. I tread for a while, until a boat came by. I yelled and waved. The boat came towards me. I was pulled on board.

I was asked how I managed to be out in the waters by myself. I said I didn’t know.

Today, so far

I look out my window. The lava flows by. It causes my window to steam up.

I get up from my chair and walk to my bedroom. I lay down on my bed. I look up at the ceiling. A spider on a web string stares down at me. I nod. The spider doesn’t nod back.

I turn on my side. I stare into the eyes of my lama standing next to my bed. The lama says, “Can we go out and do something?” I say, “What do you want to do?” The lama says, “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

The meeting

My horse, Mr. Fudge Pudding, came to a stop.

I said, “Fudgy, what’s up?”

Mr. Fudge Pudding said, “I’m tired.”

I said, “Okay, let’s stop and take a rest.”

I got off of my horsey. I took some carrots out of the side of the satchel and I fed them to Mr. F.P.

He said, “Thank you,” and wolfed them down.

I looked around at the desert. I love looking at the desert. It feels like it’s moving in place. I felt like the desert was looking back at me.

I took a chance and said, “Desert, how’d you get so fine and dandy?”

I saw waves occur in the air as I heard, “Thank you sir for your kind words. How are you and your horse friend doing?”

I said, “I’m good.”

Mr. Fudge Pudding said, “I’m tired.”

I pet Mr. F.P.’s head. I said, “I rode 12 miles on Fudgy. He rarely complains.”

Mr. Fudge Pudding said, “Today I’m more tired than usual. I had a hard time sleeping last night. Some nights I’m antsy.”

The waves in the air said, “I’ve never slept. I don’t know what that’s like.”

I said, “It’s like taking a long pause.”

Mr. Fudge Pudding said, “Brooks, I’m feeling better and ready to go.” I said, “Okay, Fudgy.”

I got back on Mr. F.P. and said to the desert, “It was good meeting you.”

The desert didn’t say anything. I repeated myself. Nothing.

Mr. Fudge Pudding said, “Let’s get going. This has already gone on for too long.”

Naturally

Last night space aliens landed in my backyard. I went out to greet them. They said the bathroom on their spaceship was busted and asked if they could use my bathroom. They were squirming and everything, so I said of course.

We all went into my home. One of the aliens used the bathroom, while the other three waited. They looked uncomfortable. I only had one bathroom. I said I wouldn’t be upset if they “went” outside in my backyard. They said they didn’t want to be rude. I said it wouldn’t be rude. I occasionally wake in the middle of the night and go pee outside. It makes me feel like a real property owner.

Woken up by Shiva, again

I was woken up late last night by my friend Shiva the destroyer of universes. He was standing at the end of the bed. He said, “Are you awake?” which woke me up.

I said, “What is it now, Shiva?”

Shiva said, “I don’t know. I’m just worried about things.”

I said, “What’s got your scared?”

Shiva said, “Everything. I’m afraid all the time.”

I said, “Well, give me an instance.”

Shiva said, “I’m afraid I’m going to slip and fall on something slippery.”

I said, “Have you ever slipped and fallen before?”

Shiva said, “No. But I think about it a lot.”

I said, “Well, maybe since it’s never happened, that’s one thing you don’t have to be worried about anymore.”

Shiva said, “I guess.”

I said, “That’s good, Shiva. Okay, I’m going back to sleep.”

Shiva said, “Are we still friends?”

I said, “Yes, of course. Why?”

Shiva said, “I don’t know. It just sounds like your irritated at me.”

I said, “I’m tired. That’s all.”

Shiva said, “Are you sure?”

I said, “Yes.”

Shiva said, “Okay. You’re sure?”

I said, “Yes!”

Shiva said, “You sound upset.”

You and things about you

I was thinking of you. The way you tie your shoes. The way you rub your nose when it itches. The way you sigh when things aren’t going your way.

I like how you pause after saying “the.”

You have a wonderful way of eating cheese.

No one frowns like you.

And then there was that time that you sat all day. You told me a few times you thought of getting up. But then you said you were enjoying sitting so much that you didn’t want to ruin it.