Thanks to Bickles

I went on stage. I said, “I’m sorry I’m late. I forgot I was supposed to be speaking tonight.” The audience laughed.

I said, “I’m not joking. What happened was earlier in the day I was looking out the window at a tree. Next thing I knew it was dark and I was still looking at the tree.”

“I remembered I had this talk to give. I asked my pet condor Bickles to give me a lift to the show. Bickles has a nine foot wing-span and once lifted a car out of a ditch. Bickles gripped the back of my collar and flew me here.”

Ralph the water

I’m working on a book about the history of water. It starts four and a half billion years ago. There wasn’t water. And then suddenly water appeared. Its name was Ralph. Ralph had traveled all the way from Pluto, a planet made of ice. He was looking for a change of scenery. He found a very dry Earth and thought, “This seems like the place.”

Ralph the water spread out on the dry Earth bed. He kept spreading. He spread some more. Eventually Ralph spread out across the entire planet. Earth basically became the biggest pool in the galaxy.

It wasn’t long before Ralph got restless and and changed things up, seeping into the ground and forming underground rivers, and evaporating into the air and sky, and occasionally raining. This pleased Ralph because on Pluto, there was only one choice for all water, be frozen. But now he got to innovate and be himself.

Another day goes by

I looked up at the sky. The sky said, “What?” I said, “I like to look at you.” The sky said, “Will you stop it? You’re bothering me.” I stopped looking at the sky.

I looked at the ground. The ground said, “What do you want?” I said, “Nothing. I’m just noticing you.” The ground said, Well, it’s bothering me, so cut it out!”

I looked at a tree. The tree didn’t say anything. I kept looking at the tree. Still the tree was silent. A hawk flew down and landed on a branch of the tree. After a moment, the hawk said, “Why are you looking at me?” I said, “I’m not, I’m looking at the tree.” The hawk, “It seems like you’re looking at me.” I said I wasn’t. The hawk said, “Please stop. You’re making me uncomfortable.”

I closed my eyes. I felt the sun and breeze on my skin. I thought about the time I sat on top of a hill and threw rocks down at a rusty tin can. I was able to hit the can a lot. It gave me a feeling of confidence.

The elephant and the mouse

The elephant was tired and sat down. There was a yelling sound from the elephant’s behind. The elephant looked back and saw a mouse. The elephant was sitting on the mouse’s tail.

The elephant stood and said, “I’m so sorry.” The mouse said, “Why don’t you look where you’re sitting?” The elephant said, “You’re right. I was tired and not thinking well. Is your tail okay?” The mouse held its tail and said, “It hurts a lot.”

The elephant said, “I’m so sorry. Can I kiss and make it better?”

The mouse nodded. The elephant bent down to the ground and kissed the mouse’s tail.

The mouse said, “Thanks, that feels better.”

How I like to do things

Sometimes I like to sit. Sometimes I prefer to stand. I vary. Sometimes I’ll only sit for a few seconds, and then I’ll stand up. I may stand for an hour or more, and suddenly I sit. I never schedule how long for either. I like it spontaneous.

But I schedule out my thoughts. As planned ahead of time, at 10:30 this morning I thought about the time I was seven and my family and I went apple picking in the Shenandoah mountains. Those apples were so juicy.

I’m scheduled to think about how well this writing is going in five, four, three, two, one second…I thought about how this is most revealing.

The Nest

I climbed to the top of the tree. There was an empty eagle’s nest. As the wind swayed the tree back and forth, I snuggled in and fell asleep.

I was woken later by the eagle. The eagle’s name was Bill. He and I are friends. Bill the eagle said he was happy to see me. I said the same of him. We caught up on each other’s lives.

The wind picked up speed and I was tossed out of the nest and out of the tree. As I fell, Bill flew alongside me. He asked how it felt to fly. I said I felt invincible.

Bill caught me in his wings just before I hit the ground. I thanked him. I asked if I could take him to the diner as a way to acknowledge. Bill said okay.

We went to the diner. I had fries. It’s called Bowl of Fries. It’s a cereal bowl of fries. Bill ordered a small salad. I said he could have a bigger one. He said he wasn’t that hungry.