“That’s it!”

I went out at night with my flashlight to the backyard to have a talk with Big Rock.

I looked up at its towering presence and said, “Oh, Big Rock, you are so great. I know if you wanted to, you could roll over on me, snuffing out my existence.”

Big Rock said, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. What is it this time?”

I said, “I just can’t seem to relax. Something is always chawing at my bit. Maybe I’m not one of those folks that was made to sit still with a peaceful head. Yet still I hanker for calm. What do you recommend I do to get those still waters?”

Big Rock said, “I curse the day you bought this house and land. For a great chunk of thirty-two years, the previous tenants left me alone. I had what you would call a desirable life of things simple and sweet. But then you showed up, and pretty much every night I can count on the headache of you trudging on out here, carrying the heavy weight of, “Oh me, oh my’ and such, and I’ve got to tell you, I’ve had it. If you bother me once more with your inanity, I will roll over and land on on you, and I’ll be doing you a favor cause you’ll finally get that solace you’ve been chasing!”

I stood there quietly. I walked back into the house. I turned out the lights and lay on my bed. I heard the night sounds through the open window. The moonlight lit the floors and walls.

I began to sing:

Pick out a pleasant outlook
Stick out that noble chin
Wipe off that full-of-doubt look
Slap on a happy grin

I heard a groan from outside the window. Then the sounds of Big Rock loosening itself from the ground’s moorings. I felt thunder shakes through the floor as Big Rock rolled hurtling towards my home.

Our first encounter

I was thinking about how we first met when I was two and you one were. I was out for a waddle by myself, that was back when there were much less restrictions on toddlers and infants. I saw you out for a crawl, heading towards me.

When you reached me, you said, “Goo buum waaaap.” I said, “Hi” and waved at you a lot. We kept that up for a good while.

Finally we got tired and took a nap together right there in the middle of the sidewalk. We woke up when a pack of neighbor hood mutts were licking our heads. It turns out tots’ heads are very salty.

Screw blue

We decided to forgo the color blue. I felt it represented the blatant and petty nature of the sky, and you blamed the hue for a slight clicking sound in your jaw when you spoke.

We assembled our azures, piling them in the backyard. Your poured the gasoline, I lit the match. The flames were high. You mentioned that maybe we’d been hasty.

I ran into the house, devouring a “forgotten” blueberry pie.

The stroll

I woke up in the am, got out of bed, went outside and began walking. I strolled down the sidewalks in my PJs. I like wearing them because they are light and roomy.

I kept going once I reached Magnasun’s Park. Magnasun’s is a field that stretches for miles. I jaunted through its thick grasses. Seeds began amassing on my pajama bottoms. When the sunlight struck them, it looked like I had cricket’s legs.

Magnasun’s ended and I entered the north part of town, which is mostly factories and warehouses. I marched at an excited and energetic pace because I’m inspired by long buildings without windows. I like that no one can look out a window at me.

Next I came upon the freeway. I walked along the shoulder. Cars and trucks roared by, and occasionally there would be a honk. I sensed that was because there was a tear in the back seat of my PJs.

I continued onto the turn off, and after a few minutes came to Mucker’s deli. I went into the back room and to my locker. I opened it and changed into my uniform. I punched in and went into the kitchen. I turned on the burners under the fry surface, added oil, and waited.

Jewels the waitress appeared in the order window and placed a customer’s food wishes on the circular order spinner. She said to me, “I feel like a butterfly today, Brooks. Don’t be surprised if you see me fluttering around, in search of nectar.”