Yelling at the candle

It was dark out at midday. I went outside and looked up in the sky. The Sun wasn’t there. What was there was a floating candle.

I shouted up to the candle, “Hey, where’s the Sun?”

The candle said, “It called in sick. I’m a temp.”

I said, “To be honest, you’re not making a difference.”

The candle said, “How can you be sure?”

I said, “It’s dark out.”

The candle said, “Okay, yeah, but not as dark as it would be if I wasn’t here.”

I said, “Dark is dark.”

The candle ignored me. I said, “Aren’t you going to respond.” The candle was silent. I said, “I know you can hear me.” The candle looked away.

I went back inside. My dog Rexy came up to me and said, “You really need to take a nap.”

What happened in the boat

I got in my boat and rowed out to the middle of the lake. I laid down in the boat and closed my eyes. I fell asleep.

When I woke it was night. The stars glowed down on me.

I felt a breeze on my face. It was a bat. The bat was flying back and forth over me.

I said, “Hey, bat.”

The bat said, “Yeah?”

I said, “It’s so nice to see you.”

The bat landed on my head. It was warm.

Restless

I’m restless. I can’t stand still. I’m typing this as I walk along the side of the freeway. I like walking along the freeway because of the nice breeze from the cars.

Even when I’m laying in bed I’m constantly rolling back and forth. Recently I was rolling so often that the friction caused the sheets to catch fire. I leapt out of bed. The bed was engulfed in flames. I danced around the mattress inferno until it went out. Then I went and slept on the couch. I was pretty exhausted and fell asleep right away, so I don’t know if I was shifting around a lot or not.

The tree

The tree said, “Is Covid still happening?”

I said, “Unfortunately.”

The tree said, “Is there anything I can do?”

I said, “Not that I can think of.”

The tree said, “A while back there was a terrible blight. Many of the trees were stricken. I had it myself and recovered. But some other trees weren’t so lucky.”

I said, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

The tree said, “Me too you.”

Reminder

I saw you yesterday. You walked out of a cloud, way up in the sky. You fell and just before you hit the ground, I caught you. You thanked me. And then you told me that you have a problem with forgetting things. You told me that you would probably forget this happened. And that I should remind you later. I’m reminding you.