The rabbit and the balloon

A balloon moved quickly across the field. A rabbit chased after it. The rabbit said, “Hey balloon!” The balloon said, “I can’t talk now.” The rabbit said, “Where you headed?” The balloon said, “I’m sorry, I’m in a hurry.” The rabbit said, “Can I come with you?” The balloon didn’t answer.

The balloon flew into the woods. The rabbit stopped. The rabbit was nervous. It looked at the balloon as it moved through the trees. The rabbit called out to the balloon, “Hey!” The balloon kept on its way. The rabbit said, “Wait for me!”

Suddenly there was a popping sound. The rabbit said, “Balloon, are you okay?” There was silence. The rabbit said, “Balloon?” Nothing.

With great fear the rabbit hopped into the woods. The rabbit looked around in terror. It called out, “Balloon, it’s me, rabbit. Are you alright?” Quiet. The rabbit moved forward, sniffing the air for a whiff of the balloon. The rabbit said, “Where are you?”

There was a flapping sound. The rabbit moved cautiously in its direction.

The rabbit came upon the balloon, flat, torn, and stuck on a jagged branch. The rabbit said, “Balloon, balloon, are you okay?!” A wind flapped the limp balloon against the branch.

The rabbit leapt and pulled the balloon down gently with its mouth, and laid it flat on the forest floor. The rabbit got near the balloon and whispered, “I’m so sorry, balloon.”

The rabbit looked up at the sound from the tree above. An owl had alighted from a branch and was diving towards the rabbit. The rabbit grabbed the balloon in its mouth and ran back towards the field.

The rabbit looked back as the owl reached its outstretched claws towards the rabbit. The owl’s talons got caught in the shredded balloon. The owl was distracted and ran into a tree. The owl lay unconscious on the ground.

The rabbit was shaking as it hopped to the owl and untangled the balloon from its claws The rabbit moved quickly through the woods with the balloon lightly in its mouth, saying, “It’s going to be okay!” The rabbit shot back into the field, and then down into its lair.

The rabbit set the balloon down on the straw bed. The balloon lay still and silent. The rabbit said, “You’re safe now. I’ll protect you.”

A thing I did for the lion

I was at the zoo and the lion motioned me towards it’s cage. I got close, but not as close as the lion urged. The lion asked me if I had any catnip or knew where I could get some. I said I didn’t have any, but they sold it by the box at Smellner’s Pet Emporium. The lion asked me if I would get 12 boxes. I asked the lion if it had any money. They lion threw out a fifty dollar bill. I said I would be back.

I went to Smellner’s and came back with 12 boxes of Jeeber’s Brand catnip. I stood near the lion’s cage and threw in the catnip, one box at a time. One of the boxes hit the bars of the cage and landed just outside. The lion asked me to get the box and toss it in. I said that was too close for comfort. The lion promised it wouldn’t reach out and hurt me. I refused. The lion asked again and I refused.

The lion sighed and asked me if there was any change from the fifty. I nodded and took the $13.42 and crumpled the bills and coins together along with the receipt and tossed them into the cage. The lion uncrumpled it and looked at the receipt and counted the money. The lion said thanks. I nodded and left.

I went by the bear’s cage. The bear asked me if I had any salmon. I said I didn’t. Actually I had some salmon jerky in my coat pocket, but I’m not prone to sharing.

Mayo and cheese!!

I was sitting on the couch, reading, Things Break: a Retrospective on Cracking, when I was visited by an earlier version of myself via time-traveling. We said hi to one another. I said to the earlier me, “Would you like a cheese and mayo sandwich, hold the bread?” The earlier me said, “You know me so well.”

We went to the kitchen and while preparing the meal I said, “Why the visit?” The earlier me said, “I wanted to see if we ever get our act together.” I said, “Not yet. You might want to check up on us further on down the road.” The earlier me sighed and looked out the window.

I brought a big plate of cheese slices and a container of mayonnaise and two knives to the kitchen table. We sat and ate the cheese slathered with extra thick slabs of mayo. The earlier me said, “Hey, what if we were to consider this success?” I said, “Now you’re talking!”

Crafty way to get a free meal

I finished reading the book, Millard Fillmore: He Was Once President, and decided to meet him. So I got in my time-machine and typed in “March, 18th, 1852, Washington DC, White House, noon,” into the destination display. I chose noontime because the chances were higher lunch was being served and I was hungry.

I arrived and got out to look around. I wandered into the dining room and lo and behold President Fillmore was seated at the table eating from a plate of meat. He saw me and asked who I was. He spoke with a mouth full of food, some of it flying out of his mouth with the words. That’s how it is with powerful people.

I said I was from the future. I showed him the book I’d brought with me about his life. He got excited and asked to take a look. I said I would trade it for lunch and he said it was a deal and told the butler to get me a plate.

I gave the book to President Fillmore. He read passages out loud with special emphasis every time he said his name. Another powerful person’s proclivity. Last week I brought the book, Thomas Jefferson: Sometimes Not So Nice back in time to visit Jefferson. He read out loud, with a full mouth of food!

I can’t get enough of time

I time-travel a lot in my Deluxe Casio Timer G-15. At least once every day. Some people like watching TV. I like to time travel. Some days I’ll travel to 10 or more places in the past and future. I’m time-insatiable.

My sister has a time-machine. It’s a Timex Preciser Past-er. It only goes back in time. She doesn’t want to know the future. She says she wants to be surprised. Plus she only time-travels once or twice a month. She thinks I have a time-travel addiction.

I wouldn’t say I’m addicted. I feel my time ways are natural . I’ve never felt time is linear. Time is like the wind. The wind constantly flows in a bunch in different directions. I think time hates being seen as one moment followed by another like people marching in a parade.

But my sister feels time is like the water in a river flowing in one direction, that every now and then momentarily changes directions in a swell, surge, or plunge.