“That’s it!”

I went out at night with my flashlight to the backyard to have a talk with Big Rock.

I looked up at its towering presence and said, “Oh, Big Rock, you are so great. I know if you wanted to, you could roll over on me, snuffing out my existence.”

Big Rock said, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. What is it this time?”

I said, “I just can’t seem to relax. Something is always chawing at my bit. Maybe I’m not one of those folks that was made to sit still with a peaceful head. Yet still I hanker for calm. What do you recommend I do to get those still waters?”

Big Rock said, “I curse the day you bought this house and land. For a great chunk of thirty-two years, the previous tenants left me alone. I had what you would call a desirable life of things simple and sweet. But then you showed up, and pretty much every night I can count on the headache of you trudging on out here, carrying the heavy weight of, “Oh me, oh my’ and such, and I’ve got to tell you, I’ve had it. If you bother me once more with your inanity, I will roll over and land on on you, and I’ll be doing you a favor cause you’ll finally get that solace you’ve been chasing!”

I stood there quietly. I walked back into the house. I turned out the lights and lay on my bed. I heard the night sounds through the open window. The moonlight lit the floors and walls.

I began to sing:

Pick out a pleasant outlook
Stick out that noble chin
Wipe off that full-of-doubt look
Slap on a happy grin

I heard a groan from outside the window. Then the sounds of Big Rock loosening itself from the ground’s moorings. I felt thunder shakes through the floor as Big Rock rolled hurtling towards my home.