Center

I played for the New England Patriots in today’s Super Bowl game.

The Patriots center had injured himself in practice yesterday and they needed to replace him. I showed up for the open call that was listed on Craigslist. The person doing the hiring had me hold on to the football and then hand it to the quarterback. I did okay at that and was given the job of center.

Things became difficult for me once the game started. I would hand the ball to the quarterback as I was hired to do and then I’d get creamed by the defensive linemen. I couldn’t understand why they had to be so rude and harsh about it. But when I gave it some thought, I realized the game was on Sunday and I think they wished they had the day off.

When we lost the game, my teammates were sad. I tried to tell them that it was okay because the pummeling was over.