I had breakfast with the ghost of General Custer.

I said, “I’m driving out to Los Angeles this week. I’m hoping to revamp my business. What do you recommend I do?”

General Custer said, “First, make sure you look pretty. When I went out to battle, I made sure my hair was shiny and flowing. I wore my full battle regalia. I perfumed my horse.”

I said, “I don’t have a horse.”

General Custer said, “Then make your car smell pretty, lad! Douse the seats with lavender essential oils.”

I said, “My girlfriend says to avoid lavender because it reduces testosterone in men.”

General Custer said, “Never mind.”

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