What to Eat?

I was walking through the woods when I got tangled up in a huge spider web. I looked up and saw a massive spider coming towards me. I felt like I was in one of those movies where spiders come into contact with radiation and grow to the size of a house.

At the last possible second, I said, “I’m not that tasty.”

The spider stopped and said, “How do you know?”

I said, “I’m skinny. I imagine I’d be gristly.”

The spider said, “I’m willing to take that chance.”

I said, “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

The spider opened its massive fangs. Just then a cow walked into the spider web. The spider looked at both of us.

The cow said, “Listen, I’ve heard that spiders are lactose intolerant.”