Review of the Neil Young concert

I went to the Neil Young concert at the Chicago Theater. He came out on stage with a tuba. Neil began blowing into the tuba. Neil was an okay tuba player. Some people booed though. It’s hard when what you want to happen is otherwise. But you’d think people would lose that kind of reaction after playing the lottery a few times.

Next, Neil Young sat down and breathed into the mic. At first I thought he was out of breath. He’s 65 and travels a lot. Plus I think he smokes a lot of pot. It’s hard for the lungs to deal with smoke. It’s hard to extract oxygen from smoke. Fire fighters have been trying to figure it out for years.

Five minutes into just Neil Young breathing, some people booed as they left the theater. Booing as you leave is how people practice being a ghost before they die.

Then Neil Young stood up and danced around the stage. He danced by himself. Usually I hate that kind of thing, even when Fred Astaire danced with his shadow in the movie Yonder Ahoy. But it turns out some people are charming even when they tie their shoes. Neil Young didn’t tie his shoes, but if he did, I think it would have been very good.

Soon I was the only person left in the theater. Neil Young squinted at me through the stage lights. He said, “What would you like to hear?” I said, “Old Man.”

Neil Young got out his guitar and sang Old Man. When he was done, he asked for another request. I was hungry, so I asked Neil Young to have dinner with me. He said he was hungry too.

Neil Young and I went to Thee Chop House and had steaks. He asked me what I do. I said, “I have dinner with Neil Young.” He thought that was good.