I worry about things. Here’s a list of what I’m worried about today:

1. Dirt is a living thing and gets angry at me every time I step on the ground.

2. God’s powerful and He uses His might and makes me think He doesn’t exist, and then He gets angry at me for being an atheist.

3. My name is not actually Brooks, and everyone knows this, but they’re afraid to tell me because I’ll be embarrassed when I find out my real name is Hiram Eyeglass.

4. There’s a hole in my pants and people can see my underwear and it’s hard to like someone after you’ve seen their underwear.

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