General Outlook

Today I went for walk by the lake with the ghost of Confederate General Stonewall Jackson.

General Jackson asked me what I was thinking. I said life I figured life would be easier if I was a general or president because when I wasn’t in that big position anymore, people would still refer to me by my title. “Mister” doesn’t carry any weight.

General Jackson said that it wasn’t such a nice perk. He haunted a veteran’s home the other day and some of the residents saluted him. But then they saw his Confederate Army uniform and they threw their plates of beans at him.

I asked if he had any animosity towards the North. He said he never had any. His Grandmother Mema told him, “See the job, do the job, stay out of the misery.” I said I wished I felt that about my cashier’s job at Walmart, but customers are always breaking my balls when I tell them they can’t use expired coupons.