Chicken of the Sea

I took a swim in Lake Michigan this morning. The waters were pretty calm so it was easy for me to get about a half-mile from shore. That’s when I ran into the mermaid.

At first I thought it was a naked woman. I thought, “Wow, what luck.” Then she went under water and I saw her fin and tail. Then I thought that I was dreaming. Sometimes that happens when I’m dreaming and what’s happening is fantastical, like when I win the lottery, or I have lunch with Marlon Brando.

The mermaid came back up to the surface. She saw me and I got really nervous. I get that way anyway with beautiful women. But then I worried that maybe mermaids feast off of humans. It’s not unreasonable. There’s very little known about mermaids.

The mermaid came up to me and said, “Hi, my name is June.” I thought she must be very old because that name hasn’t been popular for a while.

I said, “Hi.”

The mermaid smiled and said, “You must have a first name.”

I thought, “God, my nervousness is a character defect.”

I said, “Brooks.”

The mermaid said, “Oh, you’re of the water too.”

I nodded, smiled and felt better. We hung out and feasted on a mackerel school.