My grandmother on her death bed pulled me close and whispered in my ear that part of my ancestry is pelican. I left the room and went outside. I walked across the sand and stood at the water’s edge. My heart opened wide and I thought, “I have another home.”

I saw a carp zip through the water. I lept in the air and landed in the water face first with my mouth wide open. I caught the fish in my mouth. The fish thrashed around. I chewed the fish and swallowed it whole. I felt alive.

I went back inside. I knelt next to my grandmother and whispered to her about my fishy meal. She said that she was just joking about being part pelican. She said that everyone was so depressed about her health that she felt the need lighten the room.

I felt like an idiot. But I also realized it had felt good to be outside and swim in the lake. Plus I wasn’t hungry.

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