Afternoon Visit

I went for a walk down an alleyway. Suddenly I felt the ground shake, and saw the asphalt buckle. A sinkhole opened in front of me. It came up to my toes. I looked down and saw for miles. Way down there were the flames of hell.

I heard a voice call out from down there, “Hey, come on down.”

So I jumped. It was a long fall. At first I was nervous, but then I relaxed. There was no wind. Just increasingly warm air.

Finally I landed in a lake of fire. I got out and walked ashore. It was beautiful down there. There was so much fire that it made everything look golden. I thought, “This is the closest experience to being on the Sun.”

Satan came up to me and said, “Welcome to hell.” I thanked him. Satan showed me around. We had lunch. I had an egg salad sandwich. Satan had an omelet. It turns out that in hell they only serve food with eggs. I was glad because I needed a little extra protein.

Hell is pretty big. It went on for miles. I got tired. Satan got us a golf cart and we drove around for a while. I started to get bored. I’m amazed that even the most interesting experiences begin to feel normal after a while.

I said I had to go. Satan thanked me for visiting. I thanked Satan for inviting me and showing me around. I went back up. I had to take the stairs. That took a very long time. There’s a point where I think I’d walked up 12,000 steps and I experienced an illusion that I was now walking on a flat surface. That was so weird!