I was eating my chocolate pop-tart this morning. In mid bite my teeth crunched on something hard. I spit it into my hand. It was an elaborate gold ring. I went online and researched rings. I found a photo of the exact same ring worn by King Tut when he was entombed. I was happy because I was having lunch with friends later and I usually have nothing to say and I was thinking this would be interesting.

I went to lunch. As I was about to tell everyone my story, my friend Ted told me that while he was eating his strawberry pop-tart that morning, he bite into a ring that turned out to be King Neferhotep’s burial ring. He then sold it on e-bay for three million dollars.

I didn’t say anything because I’m modest and basically adverse to competition.

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