Logic for the Deceased

One of my relatives was the late General George Custer. Every once in a while he comes to visit me. I used to say his ghost, but it turns out people in a situation of being once alive do not like to be called ghosts. They prefer ‘retired from living’.

He visited me earlier today. The interesting thing is ghosts don’t knock. Even if you tell them, “Look, when you walk into a room unannounced, and you’re dead, it has a way of making people unsettled.” They may hear you, and apoligize and say they won’t do it again, but they forget.

Custer walked into my living room. I jumped. He apoligized. I forgave him.

I said, “How are you today?”

Custer said, “I’m a little sad.”

I said, “Why?”

Custer said, “Well, I was a brilliant commander in the Civil War. I did things that had even Grant uttering to himself, “Wow, how’d you do that?” But then I was involved as a General in the Indian Wars for a brief, short passage of time, and I ended up getting killed in a quite embarasing loss, and now that’s all everyone remembers me for. It’s bothersome!”

I said, “People remember me for accidently lighting the town Christmas tree on fire last year, but they seldom remember that I invented cheese. How fair is that?”

He said, “Hmmm,yes, I see your point.”