New TV

I bought a new TV over the weekend. I set it up and sat down to watch TV. I got out the remote and clicked the power button. The screen came on, but it was blue with no picture.

I said to the TV, “Um, is there a problem?”

The TV said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel like it today.”

I said, “Why, is there something wrong?”

The TV said, “No, I just don’t want to do it.”

I said, “Well, I’m not comfortable with that. I’d like to watch my shows on you.”

The TV sighed. It said said, “Could it wait until tomorrow?”

I said, “No, I’d rather not.”

The TV was silent. Then Flight of the Concords came on. But it was in Spanish.

I got out the manual. I called the 800 service number. I told them what was happening. They asked me for the TVs serial number. I told them. They said the TV was made in a plant in Singapore, and it turns out that particular batch was moody. I asked if there was anything that could be done about it. They said it would help if I was more sympathetic towards the needs of the TV.

I shut off the TV. I turned it on later in the evening. I got the blue screen.

I said to the TV, “What’s wrong?”

The TV said, “I don’t know. I just don’t feel like it.”

I said, “I know, I understand. You don’t have to play my shows. I can do something else. Why don’t you take it easy?”

The TV didn’t say anything. Then Midnight Run came on. It was in English.