What Rexy Said

I was moping around the house.

My dog Rexy said, “You seem down, what’s up?”

I said something about things not going the way they should.

Rexy said, “Your problem is you’re trying to draw a map of the clouds in the sky.”

The List

God: What have you got there?
Brooks: A list of complaints and grievances.
God: How many this time?
Brooks: 137.
God: That’s down from last time.

Wishing Well

I went to the wishing well. I tossed in a quarter.

The wishing well said, “Yes, what is it you wish?”

I said that I wanted to be okay with things as they are.

The wishing well said, “Are you sure you don’t want a Maserati?”

I said no.

The wishing well said, “How about wishing for a million dollars?”

I said no again.

The wishing well said, “I know, don’t you want all of your hair to grow back?”

I shook my head.

The wishing well said, “Okay. I grant you your wish.”

I said I felt exactly the same.

The wishing well said, “Precisely.”

Brooks: Sometimes it feels like there’s almost too many people on the planet.

God: I like to have a lot of channels to watch.

This is a photo of my Uncle Myron who used to tell me, “Now and again we need to offer a ride to those whom we depend on for a ride.”

“What?!”